


this is the world i know

by stylescoalition



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Homophobic Language, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Period-Typical Homophobia, Self-Harm, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-01-30 01:42:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12643581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stylescoalition/pseuds/stylescoalition
Summary: Billy still doesn’t understand why Nancy would leave someone like Steve. Steve wasn’t king of the school anymore but… he’s a good person. He cares about the happiness of others (such as a group of stupid, nerdy kids) whereas the millions of other people couldn't give less than two shits. And Billy completely bashed the dude’s face in. Bashed in the face of a completely attractive guy with all the good intentions in the world and ruined absolutely any chance of any sort of connection between them.Though it's not the first time Billy ruined something in his life. In fact, it's one of the many things in his life that he's ruined.





	1. corruption by design

**Author's Note:**

> LISTEN.... I am so excited to write for this ship. I don't care if it's ""problematic"" because it's interesting and they have a great dynamic and god damnit, I wanna explore it!!!!!!

 

It’s been about a month since Max almost castrated Billy. And it was that moment that made Billy realize that maybe he shouldn’t terrorize his little stepsister so much and as harshly as he’s been doing because one, he loves his dick too much to part with it. Billy kind of needs it. Two (and most importantly), if his behavior pushed his otherwise mild-mannered sister to do _that_  to him, then something is seriously fucking wrong.

Except Billy’s always known that something was wrong with him. Since he hit puberty and began to notice boys for the first time, he knew from then on that he wasn’t like everyone else - he wasn’t “normal”. Well, he didn’t think much about how out of the norm it was until he told his shitstain dad that there was a cute guy in his class that Billy was wanting to get to know better and his dad slapped him across the face and locked him in his room until Billy told him he’d never go near that guy if he wanted to stay in this house.

That's when everything changed.

Not that it’d stop Billy from going near guys in the future. He just kept it on the down-low, only fucking around with guys he knew would keep his mouth shut. This formula worked pretty well and he was having a huge ball fucking hot chicks and hot dudes alike, the time of his fucking life. Even managed to get the quarterback of the football team to fuck him and even though Billy was the bottom, he still bossed that preppy little bitch around and showed him who the real alpha dog of the school was.

But everything changed (again) when his dad met Susan and her daughter, Max. Max, who seemed to be the child his dad always wanted. Not a “faggy sissy” like his son, a real tough chick who minded her own business and didn’t backtalk Billy’s dad at every turn - yes, Billy’s dad adored Max. It wasn’t fair. Nothing about the arrangement was fair. Max just gets to waltz in their lives and receive the affection from his father that Billy’s always sought out for? No fucking way, that shit isn’t going to fly with him.

Even worse is when Max caught him being sucked off by the same quarterback of the football team behind the school when she wandered off looking for him - he was supposed to take her home but he lost track of time and you can’t blame him because this quarterback had a real wet, warm mouth and sure, he used his teeth but there’s something so great about fucking an untouched, unclaimed mouth and it just felt really fucking good and he was about to pull out and come on that yuppie’s face until suddenly he heard Max yelling at him and asking what the fuck he was doing.

Max didn’t tell their dad that Billy was getting sucked off by a man but her body language and hesitance in using a pronoun other than “them” was enough to set off warning sirens in his father’s head.

So they moved away from California, beautiful beaches and even more beautiful boys to some no-name town in Indiana where the beautiful boy population was seemingly nonexistent. There was one boy who caught Billy’s interest but Billy kind of fucked that up. Just like everything else in his life. Nothing new.

 

He walks through the house, rubbing over the switchblade in the pocket of his jeans and turns his head when he hears the sound of Susan and Max bickering over her hair. Billy walks on over to see what the fuss is about and Max catches sight of him, the both of them locking eyes for an uncomfortable few moments before she looks back into the mirror.

Things weren’t great between them but they weren’t bad either. Billy didn’t terrorize her anymore but he wasn’t jumping at the chance to make things right either. Things just were. Though he is curious as to why Susan is trying to doll up Max, a clear tomboy, for… what is it she’s doing?

“Goin’ somewhere special?” Billy asks, slowly walking over to lean against the arch of the open doorway.

“Taking her to the Winter Ball.” Susan smiles, patting Max’s hair as she looks fondly into the mirror. “Doesn’t she look beautiful, Billy?”

Billy looks over at Max, taking her in. She’s alright.

“You’re really going to ask for his opinion?” Max asks, glaring over at her older brother. “He doesn’t care. He just wants to know where I’m going because it’ll mean not being near me for a few hours.”

Billy bites on the inside of his cheek, rubbing over the switchblade even harder. Focus, Billy… you can hang in there. He can’t just yell at Max like he used to either, lest he wants a repeat of the almost-castration incident or worse, the wrath of their father. And, you know, he does feel bad a bit for how he acted. Just a little bit because Max is still a brat but… she’s a young brat. Not her fault.

It’s Billy’s fault that he’s such a fuck up of a human being. He takes after his father that way.

But he can fix this, or at least try to. He takes in a deep breath before letting out a sigh, leaning back off the doorway. “You look good, Max.” Billy nods, looking back and forth between the redheads before he begins to walk away from the door to end this uncomfortable tension brewing between the three of them.

 

Max and Susan share confused looks, blinking a few times in bewilderment. Susan watches Billy closely, gnawing at her bottom lip in thought before she walks up to the doorway. “B-Billy, hold on! Weren’t you about to leave to go to the lake?”

Billy shoves his hands into his pockets, looking back at Susan with mild irritation but he’ll keep that to himself. He /was/ about to leave for the lake to get away from this shithole, away from these people, but sure, he’ll chat with Susan. For a minute. And then he’s off.

“Yeah, I was _about_  to.”

“Well, the middle school is on the way to the lake.” Susan points out. “Maybe you could take Max?”

In a car alone with Max. Billy can do that. Despite their last altercation, Billy still drives her places and it’s awkwardly quiet but they’re not at each other’s throats. Billy appreciates the silence, even - either way, it’s still time away from this house.

“N-No, mom, it’s fine.” Max shakes her head. “You can take me, I don’t-”

“I guess so…” Billy sighs. “You gonna give me gas money?”

“Well, it’s on the way so I don’t think-”

“Gas money?” Billy raises an eyebrow, tilting his head.

Hey, he still needs to assert himself somehow. He’s not going out of the way but he considers this the price Susan has to pay for shacking it up with his abusive dick of a father.

“Fine.” Susan replies, lips set in a hard line. “I’ll pay you back tomorrow. Just take her, make sure she goes in safe. I’ll pick her up.”

“Whatever.” Billy steps back, eyeing his little sister again. “So you ready to go now or what?”

Max clearly isn’t too pleased with having Billy take her but she knows any arguments against it will prove futile. She rolls her eyes and adjusts her dress in the mirror before exiting the room. “Yeah, let me grab my purse.”

“I’ll be outside.” Billy tells her as he makes his way to the front door, grabbing his brown, suede jacket from the rack and slipping it onto his figure before he goes out to lean against his car, taking out a cigarette from his jacket pocket and lighting it up. He blows out smoke and looks up at all the stars across the night sky, trying his best to make out some constellations but astronomy isn’t exactly his strong suit.

Even though he can’t really make anything out of the stars, it’s still beautiful - whether he’s in California or Indiana, the night sky stays the same. Despite everything that’s going on in the world, despite how some people might act, this is a constant.

Most things in life were ever changing but a few things stayed constant; like the stars in the night sky.

* * *

 

As soon as Billy finishes his cigarette, he smashes it with his foot on the cement driveway. He takes one more look up at the night sky before he goes into his car, speeding out onto the road.

Just like he thought, there’s nothing but silence between them. Max is staring out the window of the car and Billy is listening to metal on the radio, looking ahead at the road. There’s surprisingly a bunch of people driving around tonight which is going to prolong Billy’s drive and it’s annoying… incredibly annoying. Super annoying, actually.

“OH, COME ON, YOU FUCKIN’ BITCH!” Billy calls out his open window, honking the horn a few times. “THERE’S SO MUCH ROOM, FUCKIN’ GO!!”

“It’s not a big deal, Billy.” Max sighs, not taking her eyes off her window.

“Yes, Max. It is.” Billy tells her, glaring at the car of the jackass in front of them. “I don’t tolerate stupidity, you shouldn’t either.”

But she seems to tolerate those stupid nerds she hangs out with so much. Those stupid nerds that Steve Harrington, former king of the school, practically adopted. Why would anybody give up such a high position at the top of the social ladder for… some girl and a bunch of kids?

 

Max looks over at Billy, licking along her lips like she wants to say something before she just shakes her head and looks back out the window.

“So you’re going to the lake.”

“Is there a problem with that, _Maxine?”_

“No, you’ve just been going there a lot.” Max shrugs. “And it’s Max.”

“Who cares?”

“So why are you going to the lake again?”

“It’s none of your business.” Billy tells her - not yelling, but telling. He’s gotten a lot better at that.

Max just rolls her eyes for seemingly the sixty fifth time that night, running her hand back through her hair but being careful not to mess up the braid.

“Well you got into my business, so I’ll get into yours.” Billy compromises with a smile, looking over to the younger girl. Annoying his little sister isn't the same as terrorizing her at all! “You gonna meet up with Lucas at that ball?”

“If I say yes, are you going to barge in there and beat him up for no reason like you did a month ago?”

Billy rolls his lips back before turning his attention back to the road. Annoying his little sister isn't really fun anymore. “I just don’t… didn’t think you should trust certain people. People like him.”

“Like black people?”

“I don’t give a fuck about that.” Billy rolls his eyes. Speaking of black people, why does it seem like Lucas is the only black kid here? There were a bunch in California, all super cool guys that didn't seem to judge Billy, even if he was acting like a bit of a dick. Anyways… “I mean, you shouldn’t trust those guys who seem all nice and cute on the outside. Like they wouldn’t hurt a fly, some bullshit like that. Somebody can look like one thing but be the total opposite, Max.”

Like his father. He met Susan and he was as nice as can be, the perfect gentleman. Buying her gifts, taking her out, treating her like a fucking queen - and then they moved in together and that’s when he finally let his true colors show. That’s when Susan saw the man that Billy’s lived with ever since childhood but it was too late then. No, she’s “in love” with him, his father is her true half, blah blah blah.

Love’s a fucking joke, Billy thinks. He doesn’t think he’s seen one good couple in his entire time spent on earth. At one point, he thought Nancy and Steve were as happy as can be and then Nancy just ended it with him out of nowhere. Left Steve behind to date that Byers boy (the anti-social boy, not the zombie boy) and Billy still doesn’t understand why she’d leave someone like Steve. Steve wasn’t king of the school anymore but… he’s a good person. A genuinely good person who cares more about the happiness of others (such as a group of stupid, nerdy kids) whereas the millions of other people couldn't give less than two shits.

And Billy completely bashed the dude’s face in. Bashed in the face of a completely attractive guy with all the good intentions in the world and ruined absolutely any chance of any sort of connection between them. Platonically, because he doubts Steve is into men, even if he’s heard rumbles around the school saying otherwise. And if Steve was into men? It wouldn’t matter, because he sure as hell isn’t into Billy after that one night.

He deserved to be tranquilized like some wild animal. If it wasn’t for Max… what would have happened to Steve? Steve, the one person in Hawkins so far that Billy tolerates. And likes. But as a person, not... the other way. Billy doesn't get crushes.

Because _love is a fucking joke._

 

“Well, Lucas is a good guy.” Max says, looking over to her brother. “And if he wasn’t, I can defend myself…” She eyes Billy up and down before she looks out the dashboard. “Defended myself against you pretty well. If I can take you, I can take him.”

“Think you’re tough shit because you had to drug me to take me down?”

“Yup.”

His sister is so annoying. Billy can’t wait to kick her out of the car and drive off towards the lake, all alone, just him and that trusty switchblade in his pocket. They’ve gotten well acquainted after that one night.

Billy just doesn’t reply to her after that, instead he turns the volume back up and begins to sing along loudly and intentionally poorly to the lyrics of Metallica, drumming his hands against the steering wheel - much to Max’s annoyance, which was the plan, so Billy thinks he won this battle overall.

Soon they make it in front of the school, Billy parking his car and giving Max a knowing look. He raises his eyebrows and smiles at her, waving his hand off. “Run along now, I got places to be.”

“Or I could just stay here. Bother you even more.” Max offers, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I could _make_  you get out.”

“And I’ll do what I did to you that one night.” Max retorts with a smile. “I’m sure Steve will let me borrow his bat again.”

Steve wouldn’t possibly endorse that kind of violence! Or maybe he would, considering he _was_  king of the school. Deep down, there’s probably a part of him that still likes to solve his issues with violence - perhaps not the way Billy does, but Billy’s heard from the gossiping chicks he’s screwed around with about his stand off with Jonathon. Jonathon completely beat his ass but he still put up a fight.

Just like he tried his best to put up one against Billy.

Kid might not be able to fight but he has massive balls and can stand up for himself. So maybe he would let Max take it, especially if it’s to beat up a guy who almost put him in the hospital.

 

Billy pokes his tongue around inside his cheek before looking away, shaking his head. “Just go, will you?”

Max opens the door, stepping out and peering down at Billy through the open window. “Good night to you too.”

“Go away, you’re bothering me.” Billy replies, not giving Max his attention. Max returns the favor, just walking away from the car and towards the school, thus ending their interaction.

Fucking finally too because Billy needs to be at that lake already. He doesn’t know why he likes to go there for what he does but there’s something… oddly relaxing about the atmosphere, especially on a night like this. And considering most people are preoccupied with the ball or at parties for the night, it means Billy can be there all alone with no interruption.

Absolutely perfect.

Billy glances over at the last second to watch Max enter the school before he speeds out of the parking lot, the car he’s been driving ever since he got his license, and heads towards the direction of the lake. Alone at last.

Most things in life were ever changing but a few things stayed constant; like the stars in the night sky and Billy’s muscle car.

* * *

 

 

Billy sits atop the rocks right by the shore of the lake, taking it all in. Well, this was one good thing about this shit hole town - if he squints, Billy swears he sees the ocean instead. It’s close enough, close enough to remind Billy about how much he liked it in California.

The warm weather and the natural breeze from the ocean, sand underneath his feet, in between his toes. Walking along the beach and checking out all the hot girls in their bikini’s, the hot men in their trunks - speedos if Billy was lucky. Most importantly, he missed how accepting it was in California. There was definitely still a crowd of judgemental people but the accepting ones outweighed that, and it was easy for Billy to somewhat express a certain side of himself.

The side of himself that his father tries so hard to beat out everyday.

Indiana was the complete opposite from California but there are still some things that stay the same, a few constants.

 

Billy shrugs off his brown, suede jacket, setting it off to his side. He reaches into his pocket to take out his switchblade, switching the blade up. He holds it in front of his face, eyes flashing with a twisted glee as they trail along the shiny, stainless steel. Billy looks off to the lake as he pushes one of his sleeves up to the top of his shoulder, revealing the straight lined cuts on the side of his shoulder - deep red, indicating they were very recently made.

He gnaws at his bottom lip and looks back down to his arm. He needs to find a new place to make these marks. A new place to remind him of all the sick deeds he’s done. Billy’s eyes roam all over until they stop at his wrists, so smooth and the blue vein barely showing - almost like it was taunting him with how perfect his skin is there, when Billy himself is everything but.

Billy takes a deep breath and lowers the blade to his wrists, slowly slicing across the flesh. He hisses in pain but even through the pain, he smiles, laughing quietly as the blood beads at the open wound.

 

Most things in life were ever changing but a few things stayed constant; the stars in the night sky, Billy’s muscle car, and the violence he inflicts.


	2. out of the mystic

 

“Here we are…” Steve says as he pulls into the parking lot, ducking his head down to look at the middle school through Dustin’s window. “So remember, once you get in there…”

“Pretend like I don’t care.” Dustin finishes.

“Yup, you don’t care.” Steve affirms.

“Yeah! I don’t care!” Dustin says with more confidence.

“That’s it. You’re learning, my friend.”

Dustin was a cute kid. Swears a whole fucking lot, but he has the biggest heart that Steve has ever seen in a kid like him. Also, he has a pretty good collection of comic books. That makes him the coolest kid ever in Steve’s eyes and he’s quite proud to be something of a big brother to him - it sucks being the only child in his family sometimes. Comes with benefits but drawbacks as well,

 

Steve watches as Dustin adjusts the mirror on his side, shaking his head fondly as Dustin checks out his new, big hair for what must be the tenth time so far. Dustin looks fucking _snazzy,_ he’s going to charm every girl in that gym tonight! Steve knows it for a fact! The Farrah Fawcett spray has never led him astray.

“Hey, c’mon, you look great.” Steve praises, pushing up the mirror and looking over to the younger boy. “You’re gonna go in there, look like a _million_  bucks, and you’re gonna slay them dead.”

“Yup. Like a lion.” Dustin growls like a lion, bearing all of his new teeth at Steve.

Steve grits his teeth together, shoulders hunchung up. “Ehh, yeah, don’t do that okay?” Steve tells him.

“Okay.”

Steve smiles and holds out his hand. “Good luck.”

Dustin looks back to Steve and takes his hand, shaking it with a smile. He nods at the older teen before getting out of his car, making his way into the school for what he hopes is a great night. Steve watches to make sure Dustin gets in okay, like the big brother slash babysitter figure that he is…  god, how the fuck did this even happen to him?

 

Steve Harrington was king of the school. _Was._ He had the gorgeous Nancy Wheeler on his arm, receiving semi-decent grades, and was finding better friends to associate himself with. Even after everything they’ve been through, it all seemed so… perfect. The life everybody dreams of living, the American Dream, it’s called. It was great until suddenly it wasn’t.

Suddenly Nancy wasn’t in love with him anymore (though Steve wonders if she was ever in love with him in the first place), he was getting his ass beat constantly in basketball, and now his best friends are a group of thirteen year olds who play Dungeons and Dragons way too much for somebody their age and get too heavily invested in comic book theories - actually, the last part of that is fine with Steve. Before this year, he would’ve thought it’d be completely dorky to hang out with those kids and it still is but Steve prefers this to how it used to be. He finds himself liking this new role of “the babysitter”.

These kids look up to Steve and trust him entirely. They genuinely like him and not as a way to appear cooler to their peers - it was an actual admiration and respect. These kids were more real than anybody else Steve knows. So yeah, being the babysitter is more than alright with him.

Even if it means taking a brutal beating from one Billy Hargrove to protect the kids, he enjoys it. Though Billy hasn’t been bothering him or the kids at all ever since that night, or at least he hasn’t bothered Steve too terribly. He still riles Steve up in their basketball games and makes questionable comments to him in the showers but it’s better than having his face beat into a bloody pulp.

But Billy is in his past now.

Just like Nancy is, though Steve really wishes it wasn’t.

 

He notices Nancy through the windows of the school doors, her gorgeous, brown, curly hair tied up high, wearing a red and black plaid dress. She’s smiling rather brightly and talking animatedly with somebody and Steve can’t see who but he’s just glad that she’s happy - it’s a great look on her. But Nancy can pull off anything, Steve thinks. Even if she just wanted to wear a potato sack around, Steve would think she’s the most beautiful woman in the building.

Steve’s shoulders slump and he looks down at the passenger seat. Feels like it was yesterday that Nancy was sitting there, reading over his early admissions essay for college and very nicely telling him how shit his essay was. And how it felt like she didn’t care _too_  much about what all was going with the paper, not paying _too_  much attention to how worried Steve was that he’d fail at making something of himself.

But he even misses that. Any bad moment they shared together, Steve wants it back because it’d mean being with her again.

It hurts knowing Nancy doesn’t feel the same way about him anymore but Steve can’t do anything about it. All he can do is wish for her to be happy and move on, or try to with all his might. Nobody really prepares you on dealing with heartbreak. It’s not something they teach you in school but god, it would be nice.

He doesn't hate Nancy though. Doesn't think she's a bad person. It just wasn't meant to be and that's fine but for now, being without her really fucking sucks.

 

He sighs and shakes his head, looking back out the dashboard of his car as he drives away from the school and towards the direction of his and Nancy’s old favorite makeout spot.

* * *

 

 

Steve parked his car right at the path to the lake and began to walk down towards the shore. He and Nancy aren’t together anymore but he still likes to come down to the lake on occasion just to try and collect his thoughts - about them, about his life, anything.

The lake was beautiful, especially tonight. Seems like he’s not the only person to think so because he sees another car on the way to the shore, a blue Camaro, and it seems rather familiar, actually. Not to judge, but it looks like the kind of car some overly macho douche would drive. Where has Steve seen a car like that before?

Haha, nah. Billy wouldn’t be down here! He’s probably fucking some chick in an alley… somewhere… wherever it is that Billy’s go for dirty, rough sex. There’s no way somebody like him would be at a beautiful, serene place like this. Especially at night, where all the fun is supposed to happen. So like, a bar or a club, certainly not a lake that’s semi out of the way.

Not that Steve would know about Billy’s whereabouts. Because he doesn’t pay Billy much mind. The most thought he’s ever gave to Billy is that he’s an admittedly attractive man with a whole shitload of issues and that’s about it.

 

However, as he continues to make his way down the path, he recognizes Billy’s mullet from the side. And Steve’s eyes roam over this man’s body as he tries to recognize the rest of him, to see if it was Billy or just some guy who happens to look like him. His eyes notice his bare arm, his bicep glistening under the natural light of the stars but there’s something else on his body that glistens too, in a deep red color.

Next to that color was the shine of something steel… and digging into his skin… and when he sees more of the deep red color, Steve’s eyes widen and he instantly turns his back to go to his car because this is _not_  something he should be watching. It feels incredibly personal and Steve senses that he’s intruding so he’s just gonna head right back home and collect his thoughts by his pool. It’s about the same thing, isn’t it?

But there’s something inside Steve that makes him stop in his tracks. A voice in his head, nagging at him to go back and check on this man and make sure he’s okay. Obviously he’s not fucking okay if he’s cutting himself but this voice wants Steve to do _something_  about it and Steve knows if he doesn’t go back, then this moment is going to be on his mind for awhile and Steve will forever wonder if there was something he could’ve done.

So Steve turns back around to quickly walk down the path and once he makes it to the area of the shore, that’s when he sees that it’s definitely Billy, and that’s definitely his switchblade cutting into his skin. Steve would’ve thought he’d be more afraid of seeing Billy with a sharp weapon but he’s not right now - instead, he’s confused. And a bit worried, not for him, but for Billy.

 

Steve makes it into Billy's vision and the both of them share eye contact that just continues to make Steve feel like he's intruding on a private moment but he can't back out now. He's gotta stick with it.

Billy grins over at Steve, laughing softly as he drops the switchblade onto his jacket. “Well, well, well… look who came to watch me fuck everything up even more.”

“What are you doing, Billy?” Steve asks, genuine concern in his tone.

“Billy? First name basis now?” Billy laughs again and looks down at his bloodied blade. “Alright… _Steve_ … what are _you_  doing?”

How the fuck is Billy so casual with Steve right now? He can turn the smallest thing into World War 3 but with the big things, he shrugs it off like it’s nothing. Steve always wondered what went on in the mind of Billy Hargrove but he never figured he might have a chance at figuring that out tonight.

“I come here sometimes just to… think.” Steve shrugs, stepping closer. “Be alone with my thoughts.” He swallows, eyes glancing down to the various cuts along Billy’s wrists. “Now… tell me what you’re doing. Tell me why you’re doing _this.”_

Billy darts his tongue out, licking along his lips. He presses his other hand down hard over his fresh cuts to stop the bleeding before he looks over at Steve, eyes narrowing. “Like you fucking give a shit anyways why I’m doing this. I bet you’re thrilled, seeing me like this. I mean, I would be.” The corner of his mouth quirks into a grin. “A guy beats you up, wrecks your face, and then you find him all alone, cutting himself? What do they call that, Steve? Karma?”

He’s surprised that Billy even knows what karma means but he’s also surprised to find Billy cutting himself so he should probably hold some suspension of disbelief when it comes to Billy from now on.

“I don’t like you. At all.” Steve assures Billy, walking up to the rock that he’s sitting on. “But I would never want you to do _this_  to yourself. That’s not what I want.”

Billy is silent, the grin on his face falling into a line as he looks down at the gravel.

Steve wants Billy to suffer some consequence for his actions but this is definitely not what he was thinking. He can’t imagine… cutting yourself. Doesn’t understand it at all but he wants to know why Billy is doing this, what drove him to do this. Maybe if Steve finds out, then he can learn the enigma that is Billy Hargrove.

 

“Why are you doing this?” Steve asks again, softly.

It’s silent for about a minute but Steve doesn’t ask the question again, just gives Billy his time. He thought Billy would’ve snarked at him or give him some bullshit answer but the angry teen seems to actually be thinking it over.

“You wanna know why?” Billy asks, in a voice just above a whisper.

“I do. I really do.”

“It makes me feel _alive.”_ Billy admits, looking over to Steve. “Makes me feel…” He smiles but it’s devoid of any happiness, and the laugh he gives is devoid of any humor. “Fuck. Makes me feel like I’m actually doing something good, out of all of the shitty fuckin’ things in my life that I’ve done. It’s the only thing that feels good anymore.”

Jesus christ. He wanted Billy to feel remorse for his actions and thank god he does, but Steve didn’t want him to realize like _this_. Nobody deserves to go through something like this. Surely he’s not doing this just because he felt bad about beating up Steve, right? That can’t be the only reason. Maybe it is but Steve thinks there’s something more there. And he wants to know what it is.

He wants to know why Billy hates himself this much. But first, he needs to get Billy some help.

 

Steve takes in a deep breath, moving his hands towards the bloodied wrist. “L-Listen, we need to get you to a hospital, I don’t know how bad your cuts are but-”

“No, bad idea.” Billy says, shaking his head and yanking his wrist away. “They’ll call my dad, then my dad will find out and, well…” Billy’s laugh is rather dark, and the grip his own hand has on his wrist tightens. “Bad things happen then.”

“What bad things?” Steve asks.

“Wouldn’t you like to know? Nosy prick.”

Steve bites down hard on his bottom lip, holding back the desire to lash out at Billy because that’s the last thing he needs right now. He’s not some sort of psychology expert but he doubts Billy was expecting a visitor tonight - why would he tell Steve, an enemy, about his issues so quickly?

“At least let me clean the cuts up then.” Steve offers. “I have a first aid kit at my house, I can take you there and clean them up and let you out as soon as I’m done. And then we can… continue not speaking to each other.”

“Aww, not gonna let me bother you in basketball, anymore? Where’s the fun in that?”

Steve gives Billy a knowing look, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms with his hip cocking to one side.

Billy sighs and rolls his eyes, still holding onto his wrist as he hops off the rock. “You look like my mom did whenever she caught me with my fuckin’ hand snatching cookies.”

“So are you coming with me or not?”

“Yeah, princess, I’m coming. You better take me back to my fuckin’ car though after it all, don’t wanna leave her alone here for too long.”

He’s sort of back to his usual self. Or is this even his usual self at all?

 

“One, I’m not a princess. If anything, I’m a _prince.”_ Steve tells him, watching as Billy slips his jacket back on. “And two, I know what it’s like to treat your car like something more than an inanimate object. She’ll be fine. Now c’mon, Hargrove, let’s go.”

“No more first name basis? I really thought you and I were getting somewhere.”

Steve thinks they’re getting somewhere. Slowly but surely. But for now, they're going to go to Steve’s house - and quickly.


	3. smoke & mirrors

 

Steve drives away from the lake, Billy in the passenger seat and flipping constantly between radio stations to find something to listen to. Steve tries to focus on his driving but he keeps stealing glances over at Billy’s hacked up wrist, trying to make sense of the whole thing.

He wonders what would have to happen to make somebody resort to that. Steve tries to rack his brain for some sort of explanation, like there could’ve been something in past conversations with Billy to hint at it or anything off about Billy’s behavior (though something’s always off about him, so that’s not a very good point). Or maybe even Max mentioning something Billy did that would make Steve do a double take… the only thing coming to mind is that Billy’s dad is getting frustrated with the way Billy acts but who can blame him?

There’s trouble everywhere Billy Hargrove goes and tonight was another example of it.

 

The sound of AC/DC reverberates through the car and Billy smiles, nodding his head slightly to the music and looking over at Steve, who just glanced at his wrist again. Billy rolls his eyes, the smile falling and his hand reaching over to hit Steve’s shoulder.

“Hey, I’m not some charity case.” Billy tells him. “You don’t gotta keep looking at me like I’m some beaten down, frail puppy dog. I’m _fine."_

Billy’s fine and yet there are cuts on his wrist and probably more that Steve can’t see. Billy’s fine but minutes ago, he was telling Steve about how he fucks up everything in his life. But he can’t just argue with Billy and tell him he’s so _not_  fine because that’s only going to make things worse and he doesn’t wanna get beat up again, okay? Steve chooses his battles carefully.

“N-Not saying you aren’t.” Steve says. “I just… your cuts.” He briefly motions over to the cuts with one of his hands before setting it back down on his steering wheel. “How often do you do this?”

“When I feel like it.” Billy shrugs.

“Do you always do it at the lake or… are there other places?”

“Why? You wanna catch me in the act again? And save me, like you’re some knight in shining armor?” Billy scoffs.

“No. No, d-definitely not why.” Steve shakes his head. I just wanna get-”

His last sentence is drowned out by the increasing volume of the radio, and Billy’s rather impressive singing to T.N.T. So much for deep conversation but at least he… somewhat got an answer out of him. That Billy cuts himself whenever he feels like it.

But how much does he feel like it?

 

Steve’s mind drives the car on autopilot while it focuses itself on this question, but he’s back in reality once again by Billy’s loud voice and a hard slam to the glove compartment, causing Steve to jolt slightly in his seat at the suddenness of the action.

“WOO! How about it, Harrington, you like AC/DC?”

If he must make small talk with Billy in order to get to the real meat, Steve will do so.

“When I’m in the mood for it, yeah.” Then he furrows his eyebrows, cocking his head. “But I’m kind of always in the mood for it so-”

“FUCK YEAH! Who else do you like?”

“Oh god.” Steve sighs, eyes widening. “You can’t ask me that, man, I’m pretty much into anything but I got a soft spot for rock. Other than that, I’m not picky.”

“A soft spot for rock…” Billy purses his lips with a nod. “I can dig it.”

“Yeah, but uh, lately I’ve been listening to a lot of MJ. Still can’t get Thriller out of my head, that song is,” He whistles, “Just perfection. Pure, musical perfection.”

“Fuckin’  _god_ too, you know fireworks exploded right in his goddamn face and he survived?”

“What?!” Steve exclaims, snapping his head to look at Billy before he tries to give the road his attention. “Since when?”

“You live under a goddamn rock, Harrington? Literally the first fuckin’ important thing that happened this year, he was filming that Pepsi commercial and fireworks seriously exploded right in his _fucking_  face. Or scalp, who gives a fuck, but it was _sick.”_

“You’re pulling my leg right now, man, Michael Jackson wouldn’t let that happen. He’s Michael Jackson.” Steve says, like it’s absolute fact.

Steve was so sure he’d never let himself be alone with Billy Hargrove, he told himself he wouldn’t let that happen, but here they are now. And they’re actually having… a really good conversation. There’s no animosity, no weird tension, it’s just easygoing and completely friendly.

Steve can’t remember the last time he had a friendly conversation with somebody his own age and he doesn’t know if that’s sad or not.

 

“There’s a lot of things people think won’t happen, Harrington.” Billy sighs, looking out the dashboard. “Bet you thought you and Nancy would never break up, right? And look what happened.”

What the fuck, Billy! What the _fuck!_ Steve takes you in, offers to clean those nasty cuts, and you shit right in his fucking hands? So much for friendly conversation but it was nice while it lasted! Shows that maybe there is some sliver of a chance he and Billy can get along after all, even if he does insist on bringing up his ex girlfriend like an asshole.

It’s going to be hard for Steve to move on from Nancy if he’s constantly reminded of her. Bad enough he sees her at school alot but does he have to hear about her outside of it as well? And from his worst enemy of all people? His worst enemy who seems to have a lot more complexity to him than Steve thought?

Steve didn’t know that trying to be the bigger person would give him so many headaches.

Steve and Billy share a knowing look, Billy smiling ever so innocently and Steve staring heatedly into Billy’s eyes (they’re lucky they’re at a stop light right now!). The tension brews, heating up until Steve turns the volume on the radio all the way up and gives the road his full attention once more.

He’s quite fine not making conversation with Billy anymore until they get to his house.

* * *

 

The two teens are silent the rest of the way to Steve’s house, much to Billy’s satisfaction. It’s not that he doesn’t like talking to Steve, not that he doesn’t like Steve - because he does like Steve, you see. And therein lies the problem, because Billy fucks up everything he touches so he can’t allow himself to get too close to the other man. Though he already screwed that up by allowing Steve to take him back to his place but in the moment, it felt good to have somebody _want_  to take care of him.

And then the more Billy thought about it, letting somebody in, he had to put a stop to it quickly. So he stops their conversation from going too long, stops them from bonding too much by hitting Steve right in the heart.

Hey, Billy could’ve been a lot more sinister with it. It’s not like it hurt Steve, just gets to him enough to stop the conversation.

 

Steve’s car slows down right by a rather lavish looking house and Billy ducks his head to look out the dashboard of the car, squinting his eyes to get a clearer picture. And when Billy sees the entire house enter his vision, his eyes widen and he whistles loudly with a loud laugh.

“Holy shit, you live here?!” Billy exclaims.

“Yeah, have been my whole life.” Steve says softly, right as he pulls into the driveway.

“No wonder why you were king of the school, bet you threw some bitchin’ parties here.”

“Are you implying you never knew _why_  I was the so called king of the school?” Steve asks, crossing his arms over his chest and leveling a challenging look at the blonde teen.

“Listen, you’re a huge nerd.” Billy defends himself, mirroring Steve’s look. “And you’re clumsy - still don’t know how to plant your goddamn feet, even though I told you how a million times.”

Steve rolls his eyes and sighs, taking his keys out of the ignition. “Anyways… yeah, I used to throw some big parties here, not so much anymore. Not since…” He gnaws at his bottom lip, like he wants to say something else but shakes his head. “Just haven’t for awhile.”

“Maybe you should try it again. Be among your people.”

“Uh, yeah, I hated those people. Total dirtbags.” Steve tells him as he opens his car door. “So are we going in now or what?”

“Oh, so _now_  you don’t wanna talk to me.”

“Don’t wanna make anymore small talk.” Steve clarifies, glancing over at Billy before he steps out and slams the door shut.

Billy likes small talk. It’s a good distraction from talking about his actual life but even then, small talk gets to a point where it’s not just small talk - it evolves into something bigger, something meaningful. Small topics segue into ones with more sentimental, personal value, and he could feel his conversation with Steve getting to that point.

 

Billy follows Steve into his house, a tinge of jealousy rising in his body at how much nicer this place is than the squalor box his “family” calls their home. There’s beautiful paintings hanging up on the walls, expensive, colorful vases on shelves and tables, and even the light fixtures had an air of royalty to it.

They came from two completely different worlds, but still managed to reach the top of their school’s social pyramid. Makes Billy wonder if his life would even change much for the better if his family was wealthy.

They make it into Steve’s kitchen, black countertops and white cabinets on white tile flooring - real fucking fancy looking, Billy thinks, like everything else in this fucking house. He feels awkward just standing here, hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket. He feels entirely out of place, doesn’t belong. Billy doesn’t think he belongs anywhere nice. Probably belongs in a jail cell somewhere and it’s a miracle he’s still walking among the general population.

“Why don’t you just like, sit over there?” Steve asks, pointing to the kitchen island counter, two bar stools against the edge. “Make yourself comfortable.”

Billy thinks he’s going to have a lot of trouble with that but he’ll try his best. He takes a seat at one of the stools, hands on the edge of the counter. His eyebrows raise a bit in surprise when the stool swivels underneath him and he can’t help but grin, pushing his stool away from the counter some so he could spin around in it.

Maybe he’s not gonna have too much trouble after all!

When he spins back around to the front, he sees that Steve has taken out the first aid kit and he immediately crosses his arms on the countertop right when Steve faces him - like he wasn’t just spinning around on the stool like some eager, happy kid.

Those days are long over for Billy, anyways.

 

“Alright, take off your jacket, push up your sleeve.” Steve tells him softly.

“You know, I don’t really like it when people tell me what to do.” Billy says, shrugging.

Steve takes in a deep breath, lips pressed together. He closes his eyes for a few seconds before he opens them once more. “Okay. Can you _please_  take off your jacket and push up your sleeve?”

There’s this warm sort of thing Billy feels when Steve asks him to do this instead of telling him but Billy doesn’t think much of it, just complies with his request. He shrugs the jacket off, setting it on the back of the stool and pushes his sleeve up to show off the cuts on his arm. The kitchen lights shine against his skin, the red color glaringly obvious.

“Pretty fuckin’ cool, huh? Chicks dig scars.” Billy says, licking his lips as his eyes trail over his cuts. These were just the ones on his arm - he’s glad it’s near winter time because his long sleeves help to hide them. Once winter is over and the temperature begins to heat up, he’s going to have to start making cuts elsewhere on his body, or just go back to doing it on his upper thighs.

“Yeah, suppose they do”, Steve opens the kit, “But I think it’s a different story if those scars are self-inflicted.”

“Right, cause you know all about how chicks work."

“And you do?” He asks as he takes out the gauze, looking up at Billy through his lashes before he continues to fish around through the kit.

He has a point there. Billy doesn’t know anything about how girls work at all… but he _does_  know how a guy’s mind works and he knows that some of them are into the overly macho guys who are into fighting. Guys like Billy. Except he doesn’t give himself these scars to impress anybody but rather to punish himself and find a new outlet for his anger.

Billy can only be violent towards himself now. It’s what he deserves.

 

“So…” Billy watches as Steve goes over to the sink, wetting the gauze. “How is Dr. Harrington going to cure his patient tonight?”

“Well, I’m gonna use this wet gauze to dab at your cuts.” Steve says, squeezing the excess water out of the gauze before he proceeds to wash his hands. “Then I’m gonna rub some antiseptic on them, and bandage you up.”

“I don’t need bandages, it’s not even that deep.” Billy argues, glancing down at his cuts once more. The cuts hurt but he made sure not to go too deep - he wants it to hurt but not severely. Just enough that it reminds him of the kind of shit person he is.

“Are you sure?” Steve asks, turning back to Billy after he dries his hands.

“I’m sure, dollface.”

Steve raises an eyebrow at that, pointing his finger incriminatingly. “Not a dollface. I’m the doctor tonight. And I really think we should bandage them up but I think that’s a battle I’m going to lose with you.”

“At least you’re accepting defeat early.”

“You always gotta get the last word in? It’s annoying.”

“It’s not like you _have_  to listen. Could’ve just left me there, all alone. Wouldn’t have to deal with me at all.” Billy points out, watching as Steve walks around the counter to meet him.

“I could have. But that wouldn’t be the right thing.” Steve says softly, looking into Billy’s eyes before he nods towards his wrist. “Can I have your wrist?”

Billy rolls his lips back, simply nodding his head as he offers his wrist to the other teen.

Steve’s all about doing the right thing now, it seems. He doesn’t have to do this at all, because Billy doesn’t think he’d do the same thing. Somebody beats his ass, Billy sure as hell won’t help them out! But Steve insists on helping him, taking care of him. Being the bigger person.

Being the better person.

 

Steve holds Billy’s wrist in his hand gently, his thumb grazing over the small lacerations. He frowns a little before he begins to dab at them with the wet gauze, taking precious precaution in being gentle. Billy might be tough, but even tough guys need somebody to be gentle with them.

The silence between them isn’t laced with animosity like it most often is and although there’s a tension there, it’s not a heated one. There’s an understanding between the both of them over what Steve witnessed tonight - a silent agreement that this would stay between them, not to be blabbered to anybody.

Billy wants to tell Steve not to treat him like some sort of wilting flower but he really does appreciate the care Steve is taking with him. For once in his no good life, somebody is treating his body with delicate ease - the last person who ever treated Billy so kindly was his mother, god rest her soul. He wonders if things might be better if she was still around.

There’s many things Billy wonders about his life if certain things stayed the same or if certain things changed.

Eventually Steve speaks up.

 

“So earlier, you said you… fucked everything up.” Steve begins. “What did you mean by that?”

“I just fuck everything up.” Billy tells him, watching as his wet skin glistens more under the kitchen lights. “Everything I touch, turns to shit.”

“But like, what?” Steve asks. “Gotta be something.”

“You gonna play therapist now? Think you’re gonna get to the bottom of why Billy Hargrove is such a fuck up?”

He's thankful he hasn't received therapy for his interest in other men. Billy's heard about the stories, you know, about conversion therapy. He thinks the only reason it hasn't happened to him is because his father lacks the sufficient funds to do so. It's the only time Billy's ever been thankful for coming from a working class family.

“Can you just cut the tough guy act right now?” Steve stops dabbing at the wounds, looking back up into Billy’s eyes but he doesn’t let go of his wrist. “Nobody else is around. And I’m not gonna go telling anybody what you tell me, if you’re gonna tell me.” Then he swallows, licking along his lips. “And… I know what it’s like to keep a deep secret. And I also wanna think I’m a man of my word so if you don’t want anyone else to know, I’ll make sure of it. Anything you say in this house, stays in this house.”

Billy’s tongue pokes around in his cheek, trying his best to ignore the way Steve’s eyes bore into him, waiting for an answer. But his eyes sort of burn a hole into Billy and it’s a bit impossible to ignore that and with some trepidation, he gives the other teen his attention - just barely looking over at him.

Fucking guys is gay enough, Billy thinks, but talking about your feelings with one is even _gayer._ But he thinks he can trust Steve. Billy trusted the guys he fucked with in California and though he’s not physically getting close with Steve, like he did with them, it’s the same concept.

 

 

“I’m just an asshole.” Billy says quietly. “I always have but lately… I dunno, it’s gotten worse, ever since we moved here.”

Because his dad knew that Billy was fooling around with guys in California and now he’s trying to beat that back out of him, whether it’s physically or verbally. His dad got worse and so Billy got worse, which only makes his dad worse - a vicious cycle.

“And I’ve taken out how I feel on people. Like Max. Like you…”

“And now you’re taking it out on yourself?” Steve finishes Billy’s thought.

Billy stares at Steve, knowing he’s already waited too long to answer Steve’s question, which just gives it all away but he confirms Steve’s thought with a small nod before looking away.

Thankfully for him, Steve doesn’t ask about that. Instead, Steve takes the antiseptic from the kit along with cotton swabs, dabbing the swabs in the solution - deep down, Billy is glad Steve doesn’t let go of his wrist.

“I was like you once.” Steve reveals, gently patting at the lacerations and _fucking christ,_ that stings! What the fuck, Steve!

Billy hisses at the stinging pain, gritting his teeth together. It’s fine if he inflicts pain on himself, he wants that. He  _controls_  that, but he can’t control this.

“Christ, could’ve warned me?” Billy asks, glaring up at Steve before he grimaces down at his wrist.

“C’mon, I can kiss it better later.” Steve teases. “Now will you let me talk?”

Wouldn’t be such a bad thing, now that Billy thinks about it. But he knows it’s only a joke - like hell Steve would ever do anything with another guy… a shame too, because goodness is he _pretty._ There’s a bit of a reason why Billy likes to conversate with Steve so much in the showers other than annoying him.

 

“Fine… go ahead. So you were like me once? I can’t see that.” Billy says.

“Yeah, I was a huge dick.”

Billy presses his lips together, catching the implication whether Steve intended it or not. He is a dick but he’s fine with it! Or he was… there’s a line between being a dick and a genuinely cruel person but Billy fears he’s treading it.

“I thought I was so cool. And I was, but for all the wrong reasons.” Steve starts. “I thought I was tough shit, did whatever I want and didn’t think too much about how other people felt. Fucked any hot chick I saw and dropped them as soon as it happened. I was… really selfish. And I didn’t realize how bad I was until I just saw Nancy one day and realized how nice and sweet she was, how _selfless_  she was…” He smiles sadly. “I just wanted to be the man she wanted, you know? And she was so _pure_ , like, she wouldn’t hurt a fly. She genuinely cared about people and I wanted to emulate that in some way.”

The way Steve talks about Nancy shows he’s still in love with her and Billy doesn’t understand why. The bitch broke up with him for somebody else but he still talks fondly of her? Hypes her up like she’s God’s greatest gift to this world? It only reinforces Billy’s belief that love is a joke. Makes no goddamn sense to him.

“So basically you wanted to redeem yourself just so you could fuck this hot chick a lot.”

Steve rolls his eyes, shaking his head and pressing a bit harder on Billy’s cuts, causing Billy to hiss louder at the increased pain.

“No. Well… okay, I did at first.” Steve concedes. “I didn’t just wanna fuck her, I wanted to be with her but I didn’t think she’d really like who I was so I just acted, at first. But uh, eventually I just…” He shrugs. “I just went with it. And being with her made me take a hard look at myself and I realized that I was a huge asshole.”

“And now you guys aren’t together.” Billy points out. “So why continue acting, ya know, how you’ve been doing?”

“We’re not together anymore but that doesn’t mean everything I learned about myself in our relationship suddenly means nothing. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have changed. And I owe Nancy a lot for that - it’s not an act anymore.” Steve takes the cotton swabs away, setting them down on the counter and looking into Billy’s eyes again with another shrug. “Now I like who I am and I’m happy with it. I don’t need anybody’s approval.”

“Are you happy though?” Billy asks, squinting his eyebrows together in thought. “Even though you’re not with her anymore?”

“Sometimes it’s meant to be, sometimes it’s not… it sucks right now but I’ll get over it. Like you said, there’s plenty of fish in the sea.”

“I actually said plenty of _bitches.”_ Billy corrects him.

“Well I wanted to make it more family friendly.”

Billy huffs a chuckle through his nose, smiling at the light hearted tease. Though his smile falls a little when Steve lets go his wrist - he already misses that feeling of being nurtured and he wants it back. But as Billy learned, he can’t always get what he wants.

 

“So… are you sure you don’t need those bandages?” Steve asks as he takes the white bandages from the kit, looking down at the cuts, totally clean.

“How much better would you feel if I wore them?”

“A good amount.”

Billy rolls his eyes and holds his wrist back out. “Alright, Dr. Harrington, wrap me up.”

With a good smile, Steve takes Billy’s wrist again so he can wrap the bandages around his wrist, and over his hands but he leaves the digits exposed so Billy can still use them. He pats his wrist and then sticks the bandages back in the kit, looking down to admire his handiwork.

“For my… second time bandaging somebody up, I think I did pretty good. People will probably just think you got into a fight or something.”

Billy twists and turns his hand to observe Steve’s work, nodding his approval. Fuck yeah, this looks badass! And it hides his cuts perfectly, not that Billy cares too much about hiding them because he has plenty of excuses lined up for that moment somebody asks but it makes this whole thing a hell of a lot easier.

“You know, girls appreciate a guy who can do stuff like this…” And then Billy smirks, raising an eyebrow before looking over to Steve. “Or even other guys.”

He just _really_  thinks Steve would be an awesome gay guy. Or bi guy. Whatever.

And maybe deep down he wants to test the waters, figure out what Steve really thinks about the whole “fucking people of the same sex” sort of deal. Billy isn’t expecting much from people in this small town but Steve’s a good person so who knows what he thinks about it.

 

“S-Sorry?” Steve mumbles, shaking his head as he does a double take. “Wh-What do you mean?”

“Yeah, you tried being with a buncha girls but there’s always guys out there. Sure they’d _loooove_ a pretty boy like you.” Billy (half) teases him, looking down at his bandage and running his fingers along the white cloth.

“What? Oh… oh no.” Steve chuckles nervously, holding one hand to his chest while his other hand raises up. “T-To each their own but I’m definitely not into men. Chicks do it just fine for me.”

That’s a decent answer. Better than hitting Billy in the face for even asking such a question.

“You ever even thought about what it’d be like to be with another guy?”

Steve pokes his tongue around in his cheek, and his raised hand goes to rub the back of his neck. “I mean… once or twice… but it doesn’t mean anything. They’re like, intrusive thoughts, thoughts you have that appear out of nowhere. That’s what they are.”

And again, it’s a shame that Steve isn’t into men. The gay community would’ve been proud to have him. Billy thinks about how popular Steve would’ve been in California with his dashing good looks - he’d fit right in, even with how clumsy he seems to be. Actually, some people are into the whole awkward nerd schtick. As for what Billy is into?

He just likes a good looking guy with a big dick.

 

“So you asked me a question about guys, lemme ask you the same thing: have _you_  ever thought about what it’d be like to be with another guy?”

Haha, _thought_ about. Like Billy hasn’t fucked half the male population back at his high school in California already.

Billy scoffs, looking over to Steve. “Why do you think me and my family moved here from California?” He asks, his mouth running faster than his mind at the moment.

He wonders if Steve saw that moment of fear flashing over his face.

Steve blinks a few times before he squints his face together, tilting his head. “What do you mean?”

Oh, thank god! He’s too confused to understand what Billy meant! Everything is fine once more - time for Billy to deflect everything again and act like this conversation never took place, his favorite hobby.

Billy rolls his eyes and shakes his head, waving him off. “Nevermind. Hey, where’s your bathroom, princess?”

“ _Prince.”_ Steve tells him pointedly as he walks to the hall. “But it’s the second door to the right. You gonna fix your hair? _Princess?”_

“I’m pretty sure you fix your hair a lot more than I do. Princess.” Billy winks at him, standing up from the stool. “I wake up looking good like this.” He pats Steve on the shoulder as he makes his way over, disappearing into his fancy bathroom - jesus, will you look at the size of that tub!

“Sorry that not everybody can wake up as _handsome_  as you are, Hargrove!” Steve calls out.

 

Billy grins a little at his compliment, watching the way his face lights up in the mirror before he drops his gaze down. He takes a deep breath and clears his throat, hardening his face before he looks back into the mirror to adjust his hair.

It’s nice to wake up looking good and Billy appreciates the fact that he’s been blessed with good genes in those regards.

But it’d be nice to wake up to a normal life of no self loathing too. Just wake up in a completely different life, a nice house like Steve has, being an only child like Steve is, not having to worry about impressing his parents.

 

Steve seems to have it all. Why can’t Billy?


	4. i'll wait for you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a bit longer to get this chapter out! I've been drowning in schoolwork and then my hours at work were getting a bit crazy and uh, Netflix just put up all of the SAW movies so that took..... a lot of my time.
> 
> ANYWAYS, THE FOURTH CHAPTER IS HERE NOW AND I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY IT! <3

 

Steve brings the used gauzes to the trashcan, grimacing a little at the blood on the material before he throws them away.

Just when you think you know somebody, they do something completely unpredictable. Is it unpredictable though? He can’t terrorize his little sister anymore and needs to find a new outlet for it… so with lack of better options, he chooses himself, an option that’s supported by all the wrongdoings he’s committed.

But everybody is worthy of redemption, Steve thinks. Billy’s only a teenager, after all, an incredibly dickish one but he’s still young. If Steve can see the error of his ways and change, so can Billy. It’s just going to take a lot of time and a push in the right direction. Billy feels remorse for his actions so that’s the first step, the next step is actually setting forth on making the changes within himself.

As Steve said, he was like Billy once. He can try and offer his help, or at least lend an ear when Billy needs it.

Besides, Billy’s actually sort of decent to be around when he’s not trying to act all macho.

Tonight, Steve’s gonna keep an eye out on Billy. He doesn’t really wanna leave him alone for too long, in case he… well, what if he drops Billy off at his car but he just goes back to cutting himself once he’s out of Steve’s sight? Steve can’t control his actions but he can at least try to keep Billy in his sights until they absolutely must part ways.

Just for tonight. After that, Billy can do whatever it is he wants.

 

Billy comes out of the bathroom, running his fingers back through his hair and grinning over at the other teen. “So I think it’s about time you drive me back, huh? I’m really missing my girl.”

His girl? Oh, right! His car! Yes, Steve will get right on that… later on.

“Yeah, uh, how about we just…” Steve shrugs and leans back against his kitchen counter, trying his best to act casual. “I dunno, chill for a bit? Until I have to pick up Dustin?”

“You wanna chill.” Billy says, crossing his arms over his chest. “You wanna chill with somebody you don’t like?”

“I-I like you a lot.” Steve says with a nod. “Yeah. You’re uh, the epitome of cool. A class act. A dude I wanna get to know, so…” He rolls his lips back before he slowly raises his fist up, and then he gently bumps Billy’s shoulder with it.

“Let’s chill, buddy.”

Steve used to be so cool and smooth with people. He could even convincingly lie to them, and he did a pretty good (he thinks) at keeping Barb’s death a secret to her parents, acting like absolutely nothing was wrong.

And that’s part of why Nancy was driven away from him.

Steve still thinks he was in the right, because he’s not going to risk getting fucking killed or having his life turned completely upside down just because he told somebody about… the upside down. He’s all about doing the right thing, but he’s all about being able to stay alive. Being alive is a pretty cool thing.

Anyways, Steve isn’t sure what went wrong but it’s like being around kids younger than him turned him into a total klutz. Perhaps he’s taking after them.

 

Billy furrows his eyebrows in confusion, grabbing Steve’s fist and putting it back down by his side. “You high? Where is it? I bet you rich people get that high grade stuff, huh?”

“No, nope, I’m completely sober.” Steve nods again. “I-I mean, I have some stashed in my room but-”

“Alright, Harrington!” Billy laughs, rubbing his hands together and looking around the house. “So where is your room? Let’s smoke that sh-”

“I’m not going to pick up Dustin while I’m high.” Steve tells him, leaning back off the counter. “No, you and I are going to have some good, family friendly fun until then.”

Billy looks at Steve with the same look Steve gave the first time he saw the portal to the Upside Down. It’s funny what’s considered “scary” and “out of the normal” to some people.

“What the _fuck_  you talkin’ about, Harrington?” Billy asks.

“I’m talking about movies. Pizza. Sitting back and just chilling.” Steve tells him. “Listen, I was all about partying but now that I’ve discovered this kind of joy, I don’t wanna go back. Just trust me. You’ve trusted me so far, haven’t you?”

Billy grimaces and he looks towards the television in the living room, fingers tapping against his arms in thought.

“Just make sure my pizza has pineapples on it.”

This is even worse than being in the upside down.

“Pineapples?! What kind of devil’s pizza is that?”

“Once you discover that kind of joy, you won’t wanna go back.” Billy smirks, looking back to Steve and holding his arms out. “You trust me, don’t ya?”

Not enough to try pineapples on pizza. But it seems like a fair compromise when Steve thinks about it - Billy shows off a vulnerable side of himself, Steve eats pineapples on pizza.

 _Is_  that a fair compromise?

“Guess I have to, right?” Steve says as he goes over to the phone, finding the number of the pizza on the paper taped to the wall and dialing it.

Two medium pizzas, one with pineapple and one with pepperoni and sausage, coming right up!

* * *

 

 

Believe it or not, Steve had a really awesome time watching the Twilight Zone movie with Billy. And he hates to even admit it… even in an internal monologue… but pineapple on pizza isn’t as bad as he thought.

He hopes it doesn’t mean he’s turning to Billy.

Something he’s found out about Billy is that he has a bit of a dark sense of humor, which Steve shares with him. Though the jokes come more easily to Billy and he seems really in his element, effortless with it. He was _funny_  and Steve doesn’t remember how many times he laughed at something Billy said or even Billy laughing at something _he_  said.

For the first time in awhile, Steve felt like a stupid teenager again.

It’s refreshing to be able to joke about a dark topic every once in awhile, which Nancy always hated because his jokes were “over the top” and she just wanted Steve to be goofy and a bit silly like she always thought he was. Perhaps that’s why things turned out the way they were.

Steve wasn’t the perfect man Nancy painted in her head.

But he has to remind himself that she’s in his past.

 

In the present, Steve worriedly looks down at his watch. Dustin was supposed to be out here five minutes ago, where is he?! Oh no, maybe somebody drove up here in a car that looked like Steve’s and Dustin got in with him! Steve always stressed the importance of stranger danger! Wait, no he didn’t. Who did then?

Right. Dustin’s actual mother.

Billy takes a long drag of his cigarette and looks over to Steve, rolling his eyes at the worried look on his face and hopping off the hood. “You look like you got a stick up your ass, Harrington, relax. He’ll be out here, he’s probably just…” He shrugs. “Gettin’ lucky with some hot chick. Or dude. Ya know, this _is_  the age they start wonderin’.”

“Nah, it’d be with a chick, trust me.” Steve says, gnawing over at his bottom lip. Dustin already hinted to Steve about his feelings for Max so Dustin definitely likes girls - though he guesses he can always like both… but Steve can’t see that either.

Why _is_  Billy bringing up that concept so much tonight? First with Steve and then they had that discussion about guys and now with Dustin? Billy never did quite answer Steve’s question on if he was with a guy or not. Just said it was why they moved out of California and the subject ended there. Steve knows that something having to do with their conversation is the reason why they packed up and left but he isn’t quite sure what that thing is… can’t put a finger on it.

There’re many things he needs to figure out about Billy Hargrove.

 

“Isn’t it interesting? That we think that’s the norm?” Billy asks.

“What is?”

“Dude goes with a chick, chick goes with a dude… not a dude goin’ with a dude or a chick goin’ with another chick. We never consider that.”

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t know any-”

“Ayyy, Dustin, what’s up, my man?” Billy laughs as he drops his cigarette, smashing it out with his foot.

Interesting how they’re always conveniently interrupted.

Steve was going to say he doesn’t know any gay people, though he supposes he wouldn’t wanna make that public considering the general attitude towards that sort of thing. It’d probably make somebody wanna keep that to themselves, or even not try out the idea being with somebody of the same sex at all.

Even if there’s somebody else they know that seems to be pretty okay with the idea of it.

 

“Steve? Why is he here?” Dustin asks, eyes flashing with fear as he looks down to the cigarette.

“Oh, Billy? He’s uh… he’s a friend.”

“Since he beat your face in?” Dustin inquires, tilting his head.

“Friends fight sometimes.” Billy shrugs. “It happens.”

Like, Steve and Jonathan had a pretty nasty fight with each other and now they’re friends! Sort of. They’re nice and friendly with each other, at least.

“Uh, they didn’t fight the way you two did.”

“Me and him made up, he apologized.” Steve steps in. “It’s all good.”

Billy never apologized out loud but he expressed remorse and guilt for his actions and considering the kind of person Billy is, that’s a big step.

“Yup. I apologized.” Billy nods, opening the passenger door. “Now let’s take you home, kiddo.”

“Hey, I get the front seat!” Dustin argues, crossing his arms over his chest. “That’s not fair.”

“Life ain’t fair, Dylan.”

“Dustin!”

“They both start with D, end with an N. Same thing.”

“It really isn’t.”

“Either way, _Dustin,_ I get the front seat. I’m the oldest.”

“That doesn’t even make-”

“You know what?” Steve chimes in, hands on his hips. “None of you get the front seat. Both of you can sit in the back.”

“But-” Dustin is quickly interrupted.

“Nope! None of you are going to be happy! Back seat, both of you. Now.”

Billy scoffs and rolls his eyes, walking around to the other side. “He always give you that look? Like your hand is in the cookie jar?”

“I _hate_  when he gives me that look.” Dustin says, glaring somewhat at Steve before he goes into the backseat with Billy.

It’s tough being a babysitter, making the unpopular decisions, but somebody has to do it. He can’t blame either of them though, the front seat is the best seat. That’s why Steve insists on driving everybody so much - he gets full control!

 

Once the kid and the teenager who resembles a kid sit in the backseat, Steve hops into the driver seat and off he goes to Dustin’s house.

There’s an awkward silence due to the one unnatural presence in this car - the one who doesn’t particularly belong. Steve sort of prefers it like this because god knows what kind of questions Billy could’ve asked Dustin. He doesn’t want the kid to be scarred for life.

“You score any hot chicks?” Billy asks, resting his arm on top his seat and looking over to the youngest one in the car.

Steve thinks too soon. He needs to stop jinxing himself like that.

“Score?” Dustin asks, widening his eyes. “What’s your definition of score?”

Steve raises his eyebrows, glancing into the mirror that Billy conveniently looked into as well. He gives Billy a pointed look, almost threatening him to ask anything perverse. Amazingly, Billy seems to comply with his warning and he looks back over to Dustin.

“I mean dancing with any chicks.” Billy scoffs. “So how ‘bout it, you dance with anyone hot?”

“Not at first.” Dustin says, frowning a little. “Actually, a bunch of these girls were kind of… ignoring me.”

“They’re just too intimidated by that awesome hair.” Steve tells him, shaking his head. “Girls are stupid at that age.”

“Hell yeah, your hair is kickass.” Billy nods. “Don’t even give those cows your time.”

Steve is pleasantly surprised that Billy agrees with him about Dustin's hair but he takes some offense to his second statement.

“Billy.” Steve says firmly. “There’s a child in the car.”

“He’s what, thirteen? He’s practically an adult.” Billy argues.

“Hey, I wasn’t done!” Dustin pipes up. “My night got a whole lot better, actually.”

“So there was a lucky chick to brighten it up after all? She cute?” Steve questions, turning the conversation back to the main topic of interest.

“Yeah… actually, there was.” Dustin blushes a little and rubs the back of his neck.

“Yeah? Who was it?” Steve asks.

Dustin gnaws along his bottom lip, taking a deep breath before looking out the window. “Might’ve been Nancy. She saw I was looking kind of down and she danced with me and after that, I was like the coolest guy in the room. It was real cool with her.”

That’s fucking terrific. He loves to hear about his ex girlfriend dancing with his friend at a middle school dance. Hey, he’s happy for Dustin, but he can’t help that sinking feeling in his chest at hearing Nancy’s name. Somebody who was once a big part of his daily routine and suddenly… she left, and his daily routine is forever changed and something he still has trouble getting used to.

“Can’t believe your ex danced with a middle schooler, Harrington.” Billy shakes his head. “You’re better off.”

That’s what Steve thinks, but not because she danced with Dustin.

Because it just wasn’t meant to be.

 

“I’m not just a middle schooler!” Dustin scoffs, before he smirks and adjusts his tie. “I’m a _cool_  middle schooler.”

He sure is! Cool enough that Steve actually hangs out with just Dustin whenever he has free time to read comic books with him and even ride bikes around town. Not that Steve doesn’t like the other kids as well, and he hangs out with them just fine, but he and Dustin just _get_  each other, you know?

He’s one of the reasons why Steve hasn’t outright broke down because of his breakup with Nancy. Dustin keeps him distracted, him and all his friends. And now he has this thing with Billy to think about as well.

“That’s right, Dustin, you’re the coolest, most _stylish_ middle schooler I know. Billy just likes to be uh… the devil’s… what is it called, uh-”

“Devil’s advocate.” Billy interrupts Steve, rolling his eyes. “And I was _joking_  by the way, geez. Dustin, buddy, you knew I was joking, right?”

“Uh… sure.” Dustin furrows his eyebrows like he’s trying to study Billy, nodding. “You never really told me why you’re here, by the way.”

“My car fuckin’ broke down and just as luck has it, King Steve was driving down my way and offered to give me a lift after we took you home. You got a real nice babysitter.”

Steve raises his eyebrows in surprise at the excuse, noting how smart it was, especially for something Billy came up with on the fly. He does everything so _smooth_ , why can’t Steve do that?

Dustin chuckles and nods. “Yeah, Steve’s pretty nice. And cool, so much cooler than he was last year.”

“Annnd we don’t talk about how I was last year.” Steve says right as pulls into Dustin’s street. “My past is just that, the past. Now I’m focusing on the present.”

“Good attitude to have.” Dustin concurs. “Either way, you’re like, the best now.”

“Hey, nice to know I have somebody who likes me even if I’m not so popular anymore.” Steve scoffs.

“Being popular is overrated.” Dustin rolls his eyes. “Being a nerd is so much _cooler.”_ And then he looks over to Billy, looking him up and down and crossing his arms over his chest. “But you probably think differently, right?”

“Nah, I like the outsiders.” Billy says. “They’re the ones that know how to have _real_  fun.”

“Aren’t you popular though?” Dustin asks.

Billy just shrugs. “Guess so. It just sort of happened.”

Now that Steve thinks about it, Billy becoming popular… did just sort of happen, overnight it seems. One day he was the new kid and the next, he was doing a kegstand and tearing up the house, causing all the chicks to shiver and swoon whenever he walked by. Steve remembers when he was like that, only he had to climb up the social ladder. Though it wasn’t too hard for him, considering his family’s massive wealth and who doesn’t wanna befriend the rich kid?

But now Steve’s “parties” are occasionally joining in on a game of Dungeons and Dragons with the kids and that’s fine. He enjoys letting go and showing off a new side of himself that nobody will make fun of. It’s freeing.

 

“Oh, there’s me!” Dustin says with a smile as Steve pulls right in front of his house.

“Tell your mom I said I hope she has a good night, okay, bud?”

“You know I will, Steve. See ya!” And then he looks over to Billy, his smile sort of shifting into a weird one, like he’s still trying to make sense of it all. “And uh, you too, Billy. Nice… seeing you.”

“Yup.”

A few awkward moments of eye contact between Dustin and Billy and Dustin is out of the car, making his way inside his house. Steve watches on every second to make sure Dustin gets in okay while Billy is making record time in taking the passenger seat.

When Dustin gets into his house, Steve smiles and goes to start up his car again but is startled by Billy suddenly shaking his shoulder.

 

“Oh god, what is it?” Steve asks.

“Take me back to her, Harrington, c’mon!”

“Her? Who the fuck-”

“My car?” Billy sighs. “I played it your way, we ate pizza and watched some movie at your place and I’ll admit, it was a fun time but now I gotta do Billy stuff.”

“What’s Billy stuff?”

“None of your business.”

“Does that business involve cutting yourself?”

It was a bad thing to say the moment it came out of Steve’s mouth but it was the first thing that popped into his head. Popped in so quickly that Steve didn't have time to filter it. And he fears for his life once more, hand on the car door handle just in case he quickly needs to get out of there and flee to avoid another beating at the hands of Billy Hargrove.

Thankfully, Billy just slumps in his seat. Steve doesn’t like the way Billy is staring daggers into him but he’s not using his fists so Steve is glad for that.

 

“I can do what I want, you’re not my boss.” Billy says softly.

“I just don’t think you should do that.” Steve replies, looking over to the other teen. “I don’t know what exactly all you’re going through-”

“That’s exactly right, you don’t.” Billy points to Steve, sitting up in his seat. “You have no _idea_  what’s even happening in my life. I don’t need your advice.”

“If you let me finish…” Steve takes a deep breath. He needs to be the bigger one between them if any progress is going to be made. “... I was gonna say that whatever you’re going through, cutting yourself is not the answer. Nobody deserves that.”

“Even if they were your worst enemy?”

“I can’t really say you’re my worst enemy anymore.” Steve reasons. “Not saying I like you or you’re my friend or anything but… but even if you were, you don’t deserve that.”

Billy stares into Steve’s eyes, the scorned look fading away and ebbing into something more pensive, thoughtful. He looks down between their seats, tapping against the armrest of his seat before he looks out the window. There he goes, trying to deflect his feelings again, staying silent in the hopes Steve won’t prod at him. Steve thinks he’s been doing a pretty good job at not invading his privacy too much but that doesn’t mean he can’t ask him questions, just as long as they’re at the right times.

“Hey, at least promise you won’t don’t do it over the weekend, okay? I want you to get home and be home safe.”

Billy looks at Steve out of the corner of his eyes. “Just the weekend”

“Preferably, it’d be nice if you didn’t do it at all but it’d give me peace in mind knowing you’ll at least get home fine.”

Billy smiles painfully and rolls his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Yeah uh, I don’t ever think I’ll be getting home totally fine. Why the fuck are you worrying so much anyways? You don’t even like me that much.”

“I’m the one who cleaned up and bandaged your cuts tonight.” Steve tells him. “I feel like you at least owe it to me a bit to keep yourself unscathed for the whole weekend.”

Billy shrugs and breathes out deeply through his nose. “Yeah, guess that’s fair.” He looks back to Steve, eyes trailing down his arm. “So uh, we gonna pinky promise over it or what?”

Steve chuckles a little and shakes his head, holding out his hand. “Nah, we’re too big for that. We’re gonna handshake.”

Billy stares down at Steve’s hand, thinking it over. His tongue pokes around, weighing out the options before he takes Steve’s hand in his to give him a good handshake before their hands pull away.

“Fine, whatever. But if you tell anybody-”

“I’m dead, yeah, I know. But I told you, I’m a man of my word.” Steve twists his key in the ignition to finally start up his car again and after that, he glances over to Billy.

“And anything you said in my house, stays in my house. Anything you _do_  at my house, it stays there too.”

“Anything I _do_  at your house stays there, huh? Does that mean I can throw a huge party there and skinny dip in that fancy pool of yours?”

“Your naked body is going nowhere _near_  my-”

“Sheesh, I was kidding. Lighten up, man.” Billy laughs. “You were getting a little too sappy there for me, had to cheer it up somehow.”

That’s a good attitude to have. Steve just wishes Billy would apply that to every aspect of his life.

 

But Billy Hargrove is still a man that Steve needs to fully break open to look at the person hiding beneath all of these facades and Steve has yet to penetrate that first layer.

Deep down, however, is a good man. A good man with a long journey ahead of him and Steve is going to help with that because he knows what that journey is like.


	5. lost population of love

 

Somehow on the drive back to the quarry, Steve and Billy get to discussing Steve’s (thankfully) ex best friend. How they were such good friends in the first place, Steve couldn’t tell you but that part of his life is thankfully cancelled. But Tommy’s moved on to being Billy’s partner in crime, though how much of that feeling is reciprocated is being revealed to Steve right now.

“Yeah, so Tommy goes fuckin’ missing at the party and I’m the one who has to find his stupid ass.” Billy scoffs. “And it’s not like the house was as big as yours either, it was tiny as _dicks.”_

“God, I can’t tell you how many times I had to look for him at a party.” Steve sighs, rolling his eyes. “It’s like being his babysitter.”

“You’re babysitting now though.”

“Yeah, but I actually _like_  those kids and I know they can still defend themselves. Tommy’s just a lost cause.”

Billy looks up at the ceiling of the car, squinting his eyes somewhat as he thinks the statement over before affirming it with a nod. “Yeah, okay, they’re pretty tough kids.”

“They’ve been through a lot.” Steve says quietly, running his hand back through his hair. And before Billy can even ask Steve what the hell they’ve been through and make some snarky comment (because he knows Billy was about to, he has a comment for _everything),_ Steve brings the conversation back on track.

“Did you find him?’

“Yeah,” Billy nods, “Found him fucking that annoying girlfriend of his in the backseat of my car.”

“That’s happened to me once. I ended up throwing them out, still feel a bit bad about it.” Steve feels a bit bad but not remorseful at all because that’s _his_  car to fuck in, thank you. He doesn’t need Tommy’s sweaty, gross body tainting it all.

“Nah, that’s your fuckin’ property! You can’t have some lard ass like him stinking it up.”

Billy seems to express all of Steve’s thoughts but in a much more vulgar, crude way. In a weird way, Steve admires how highly brazen Billy is.

Steve actually chuckles, glancing over at Billy who even has a hint of a smile on his face. It looks good on him, Steve thinks. “I wouldn’t have put it in that way but uh, yeah, you’re right.”

“Course I’m right.”

“You do have a nice car though, if that was my car, I’d probably be even more pissed to catch him naked in there.” Steve admits.

“I wanted to beat his ass.” Billy says, then stops for a few moments before he suddenly laughs. “Actually… I did! Punched him square in the face, kicked him and his girl out, threw them their clothes, and drove my ass back home.”

Steve wonders how many of his problems could be solved if he was an actual good fighter like Billy is. And then he realizes words are better than his fists to qualm those situations, though doing it with your fists is certainly quicker.

 

“And… you get to drive your ass back home now.” Steve smirks, his car slowing to a stop at the quarry. He looks out his window and over at Billy’s car, untouched and unscathed, the same way he left it. “Told you she’d be okay.”

Personally, Billy’s car isn’t Steve’s taste but as he mentioned, it is pretty nice. Billy clearly takes good care of it and he’s not sure the year of the car but it looks pretty brand spanking new.

As Billy leaves his car, hooting and hollering about driving away in his beautiful baby girl that he’s missed so much, Steve stares at his car in wonderment.

How did Billy buy his car anyways?

 

“Oh man, look at her… pretty thing, ain’t she?” Billy smiles, running his hand along the hood of his car.

“Yeah, she is… hey uh, what uh, what year is she?” Steve asks.

“She’s a ‘78. They don’t make ‘em like this anymore, I’ll tell you that.”

“Ohh, so you must’ve got a good deal then, right? If it’s been around that long?”

Billy rolls his lips back, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Steve’s curiosity grows when Billy doesn’t immediately give him an answer and he thinks that he’s struck a nerve in him - again. Everytime he’s done so, Billy hasn’t lashed out (heavily) so now Steve’s just waiting patiently for his response.

Patience is a virtue.

“Actually, it was my mom’s.” Billy admits with a soft voice, still looking at his car. “She bought it when I was 12. And she drove it everywhere until she…” He bites his bottom lip and taps his fingers incessantly against the hood, taking a deep breath. “Uh, well, everybody’s gotta go sometime and I guess her time came a lot quicker than others.”

He wonders what other bad thing he’s going to find out about Billy next. First he cuts himself, then Steve learns his real mom died, what’s next in this shitshow?

Steve feels bad now (and remorseful) for thinking Billy’s blue Camaro was the type of car a douche would drive. Even knowing the kind of person Billy is, the way he talks about his mother, even so briefly, just lets Steve know that she was a good person. Does he get the chance to talk about her a lot or is it something Billy keeps to himself? Feels like he keeps a great deal of his problems to himself.

He crosses his arms above his open window, resting his chin on top as he gives Billy his full, undivided attention. “What was she like?” Steve asks.

Billy leans against the hood of his car, taking his hands out of his pockets to cross them over his chest. “She was really sweet.” Billy begins, smiling sadly as he remembers his past. “Sometimes she’d get on my ass but when I look back, it wasn’t in a bad way. She just really loved me. Wanted the best for me. And when my dad would start to yell at me about something, and really it could’ve been about _anything_ , she was always the one to calm him down. She just had a way with people, I guess, I dunno…”

His hands now run up and down his arms, looking like he’s trying to warm himself up. Billy looks up through his lashes and over at Steve but he looks back down before they can share any meaningful sort of eye contact.

“But what I loved about her most was how understanding she was. She was so accepting, she saw the good in everybody. I-I could’ve even been hanging out with a queer and she would’ve been fine with it.” Billy chuckles, shaking his head. “You could just… actually be yourself around her. She was special.”

“She sounds like it.” Steve says, smiling throughout all of Billy’s rambling. He’s happy that Billy could talk to him about his mom, even if it might’ve been a “vulnerable” moment, but Steve doesn’t think so. Everybody loves their moms, or most of them. Even though Steve’s mom is distant nowadays, Steve still thinks the world of her. And she thinks the world of him. The love is very evident and even though his mom is dead and not here with him (as Billy seems to have implied), the love shared between them is incredibly obvious.

“I would’ve loved to meet her, if it means anything.”

“I would have too.” Billy tells him. “Anybody would’ve loved to meet her.”

For that, Steve can’t say the same about his mom. Ha, even though he’s rich, he doesn’t have it all. It seems so nice to live Steve’s life but it gets old, being in a big house by yourself. All the toys, all the expensive gadgets, that wouldn’t compare to the affection a mother has for her child. It’d be nice if his mom paid attention to him and was as warm as Billy made his mom out to be.

Steve’s just unlucky when it comes to love. Rich with money, he definitely is, but he'd rather be rich with love.

 

Billy coughs, earning Steve’s attention, and he clears his throat. Billy stands up straight, looking off to the lake and his arms uncross. “We’re not gonna talk about this, alright? This conversation never happened.”

“Uh. Okay. Yeah.” Steve nods. “This… this wasn’t a thing that happened at all.”

“Good.” Billy nods back. “See you at school Monday, Harrington. Thanks for the ride I never asked.”

“Hey, I was-”

“Joking.” Billy grins and suddenly looks to Steve, pointing a finger gun at him. “You’re so fuckin’ easy to mess with, you know that, right?”

And there they are, back to Billy being Billy. They’ve made some massive progress tonight though and Steve’s proud! He got Billy to open up and relax and just enjoy being a stupid teenager for a night. It was quite cathartic for Steve as well, hanging out with somebody his own age and discussing things people his age would understand.

Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing if they hung out more. They could gain a lot from each other.

 

Steve rolls his eyes but the small smile on his face shows he doesn’t take it too personally. “I totally knew you were joking.”

“Uh huh.”

“I did!”

“Riiiiiight…” Billy chuckles and opens the door to his car. “See ya, Steven.”

“Goodbye, _William.”_

“For as long as you talk to me, you’ll either refer to me as ‘Hargrove’ or ‘Billy’. I’ll beat your ass and I won’t apologize for that.”

“... I’m not sure if you’re kidding or not.”

“Do you wanna take the chance?”

Steve purses his lips, studying Billy’s face which looked quite serious but as he sort of figured out, in addition to Billy’s dark sense of humor, was a monotone one. But better safe than sorry.

“I guess not.” Steve answers.

“I knew you were a smart man.” Billy winks and clicks his tongue before hopping into his front seat. “Adios amigo, I mean it this time.”

And he did, because he closes his door and quickly speeds on out of that quarry with his tires leaving skid marks in the process.

 

It’s not how Steve envisioned his night going but it was a nice change from keeping himself in his house or hanging with the kids. Hanging out with Billy was… fun. Steve actually wonders when they’ll hang out again and he’s already trying to think of ways to ask Billy out in a completely not gay way to chill.

Not that Billy would have a problem with it if it was gay. And that’s another thing Steve thinks about, this underlying homoerotic theme Billy has had since Steve saw him at the quarry a few hours ago. First he asks Steve about being with guys, then asking about Dustin being with guys and in hindsight it doesn’t really mean _much_  but then with their most recent conversation about her mother, how accepting she was and his insistence on saying she wouldn’t give a shit if he hung out with a queer… maybe Steve is analyzing it too much after all 

Or maybe he isn’t and Billy really _is_  into guys.

But Steve has the whole rest of the night to himself to think on it. And it’s the most he’s ever thought about Billy Hargrove in the entirety they’ve known each other.

* * *

 

 

Steve was a good man. A good man who has no reason to worry over Billy as much as he did over the weekend, especially considering their rivalry before but when you catch your enemy slitting their wrists all alone, you learn to put differences aside.

Billy still believes he doesn’t deserve Steve’s help but he can’t deny that it felt good to have somebody care like that. The way Steve tended to his cuts reminded him the way his deceased mother took care of him… Billy would always go outside, always get a little too rough and come back into the house with scrapes and cuts all over his knees and elbows. His father would yell at him and tell him he shouldn’t be outside if he’s just gonna keep fucking himself up like that and his mother would just roll her eyes and take Billy into the kitchen and get right on taking care of those wounds. Cleaning them and covering it with a band-aid right afterwards, maybe even a kiss over the band-aid to “speed up” the healing process.

Not that Steve kissed his bandages because that’d be like, weird. And he’s a seventeen year old _man,_ he doesn’t need to be kissed better. Besides the kiss, it was step-by-step like his mother would’ve done. His mom would’ve loved Steve, he thinks.

Billy and Steve didn’t see each other the rest of the weekend but today was Monday and unfortunately, Billy has to be at school. School’s so _boring_  and the classes don't provide him with any sort of intellectual stimulation at all but he shows up everyday and goes to every class, doing just enough to coast by and appease his parents. God forbid he fails something and his father punishes him with his fists again. Doesn’t have the energy to give a shit but he can’t fail either but there’s a nice, happy medium.

 

He pulls up into the parking lot, getting out of his car and slamming the door shut. Billy adjusts the white bandages around his hand and wrist so it’s more comfortable on his skin and he proceeds to walk away from his car but stops when he sees Steve’s dorky face smiling over at him… waving at him… picking up speed and walking towards him…

“Hey, Hargrove!” Steve rushes over… and promptly trips over his own feet onto the ground.

He’s a walking calamity.

Billy sighs and rolls his eyes, deciding to do the right thing by walking on over and kneeling down to hold out his hand. “What did I tell you about planting your feet?”

“We’re not playing basketball right now though, are we?” Steve asks in a stunted tone, hissing at the pain and taking Billy’s hand. He didn’t hit the gravel too hard but apparently it was hard enough to leave a scrape on his chin. Maybe Billy should make a first aid kit of his own.

“Still good life advice.” Billy tells him, squeezing the other teen’s hand and pulling Steve up to his feet along with him. “You should listen to me more, I’m always right.”

“Mmm, that’s a bit questionable, I would say.” Steve says, narrowing his eyes at him with a bit of a smirk.

“Whatever, what do you want?”

“I uh, wanted to talk to you about the other night-”

“Uh uh.” Billy shakes his head. “You said it yourself, what happens at your house, stays at your house. Which means we don’t talk about it outside your house. Move along.”

Billy really doesn’t wanna get vulnerable again. Steve didn’t seem to mind too much, and actually encouraged it, but it scares Billy how easily he opened up to Steve. It usually (hell, most always) takes a hell of a lot more prodding than that but Steve’s just one of those people you can trust, he guesses. Not that he’s going to tell Steve all of his innermost secrets anytime soon. There’re still some parts to Billy’s life he wants to keep under wraps and he was planning to keep the majority of it a secret too until Steve caught him cutting himself at the quarry.

Billy followed through on his promise by not doing it the rest of the weekend though.

 

“No, it’s not that.” Steve shakes his head. “Well, it sort of is, but…” He rolls his lips back, rubbing his chin like he’s trying to figure out the best way to say it before he groans and gives up. “Can we just talk about it in your car? That’s private, isn’t it?”

“Do we _have_  to talk about it?” Billy asks, raising his eyebrows. “How fuckin’ important is this?”

“I think it’s pretty important.” Steve says. “Look, I promise I’ll keep this between us two. You still trust me, right?”

Billy worries his bottom lip and looks around the parking lot, hyper aware of everybody else there, though they’re off in their own little worlds - with the exceptions of a few chicks checking out Billy but, heh, that’s just normal. He makes eyes with the girls and grins, winking over at them as he wraps an arm around Steve’s shoulder, leaning his face closer with his mouth by his ear.

“I’ll give you five minutes.” Billy whispers, still smiling before he gets into his car and locking the door on his side.

Five minutes Billy will give Steve. Five minutes Steve will get the opportunity for Billy to possibly divulge in more info about himself before they part ways the rest of the day. Keyword being _possibly._

 

Steve gets in on the other side, making himself comfortable before he looks over to Billy.

“So what is it? Timer starts now.” Billy tells him, looking over at Steve.

“Have you ever been with a guy before?”

“Did you fucking get me alone in my car so you can hit on me?”

“What?” Steve’s eyes widen and he shakes his head, chuckling nervously. “No. No! No, god… I mean, you’re good looking and all-”

“You think so?” Billy smirks, flashing his perfect white teeth.

He is, isn’t he? That’s one thing Billy likes about himself. Even if he’s a shit person with a shit attitude, he’s fucking _hot._ Billy has nice, soft hair, a pretty face with soulful eyes, and he has those pouty lips that girls like so much. And men. Especially the men. Nice to know Steve feels the same way! You know, Steve isn’t too bad looking himself. Billy would _totally_  hit that if he had the chance.

Is this the chance?

No, they’d never be so stupid as to do it in the public.

 

Steve rolls his eyes before nodding in defeat. “Fine, yeah, you’re good looking, but you’re still not answering my question.”

“I told you, that’s the reason why we moved here from California-”

“You told me that last time.” Steve reminds him. “Still doesn’t exactly answer my question.”

Billy’s mouth opens and closes like a fish before he keeps it closed, the reality of the situation now weighing on him. He really doesn’t wanna answer that question and any other time, he’d just walk out of his car and go to class but he… likes Steve. And Steve took care of him over the weekend so the least Billy can do is stay in this car with Steve until his five minutes is up.

It’s not like Billy has to absolutely answer in those five minutes, however.

“If you have been with a guy before, it’s cool, like, it’s none of my business-”

“Exactly.” Billy cuts in. “It’s _none of your business.”_

None of what Billy does is Steve’s business. Cutting himself isn’t Steve’s business, his dead mom isn’t Steve’s business, and neither is his goddamn sexuality. But he knows Steve isn’t asking just to get information on him and rat him out.

Steve just cares. It’s nice but it’s annoying. Can’t Billy just continue to bottle up his problems and act like everything is fine?

Steve doesn’t give into Billy’s coldness though, he never gives into Billy. He knows Billy can beat him up whenever he wants but he still stands up to him - Steve’s the weakest man Billy’s ever fought but he’s the bravest.

 

“So you have been with a guy then?” Steve asks.

Billy closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, as if he’s trying to block out the question but he knows he can’t escape it. If he stays silent, it’s just an admission that he’s been with one but if he says yes, well, they both know that’s gonna be a lie. Steve’s pretty perceptive, unfortunately for Billy.

“... I might have. Been with a guy, I mean.” Billy admits quietly, opening his eyes and resting his head back against his seat. “Might’ve been with a few guys. But I can’t anymore so…” He shrugs, shoulders slumping back down. “Doesn’t matter anymore.”

Steve just nods, brows knitting together. “That’s cool. So you’re gay?”

Billy rolls his eyes. “No. I’m into chicks and dudes, moron, it doesn’t have to be exclusive. I love it all, I just wanna fuck somebody hot.”

There’s not many hot people in Hawkins, unfortunately, so Billy has to settle. Why can’t Steve be into guys so Billy can fuck him? It’d make his life a lot easier. And maybe if Steve wanted to have a deep, emotional talk with Billy, Billy could easily just seduce him into having sex because that’s what he does with chicks who believe there’s a sweet, soft side to him deep down.

There’s only one side of Billy and it’s pure shit.

 

“Hey, I get it.” Steve chuckles. “Nothing wrong with that.”

“So can I go now? I still gotta take my smoke before class and we’re cutting it real close, Steve.”

“Alright, I get it, I’m bothering you.” Steve holds up his hands. “I’ll leave you alone.”

“Hey, hold up.” Billy suddenly perks up, reaching over to grab Steve’s wrist right before he opens the door. “Look at me.”

Steve blinks a few times before he stares into Billy’s eyes, raising an eyebrow to show he was awaiting… whatever it is Billy was wanting to tell him.

Billy leans in close, not too close, but close enough that maybe it’s a bit uncomfortable for Steve - which is exactly what Billy wants. Billy slowly licks along his lips, glancing down at Steve’s mouth before he looks back into the other teen’s eyes. Steve's eyes are dark brown, which might be boring to some people but Billy never really understood why. He finds the color beautiful and warm and most people he's met with brown eyes are people that Billy likes.

Like his mother. She had real pretty brown eyes, just like Steve.

“Do not. I repeat, _do not_ … tell _anybody_ … what I just told you.”

“Billy, all of our conversations end like this.” Steve points out, grinning. “I get the deal by now, nobody’s gonna hear a thing. Okay?”

Billy’s lips set in a line before he rolls his lips back, nodding and pulling away. “Alright. Thanks.”

“I like to think we’re sort of friends and friends don’t just tell people the others secrets.” Steve says, giving Billy a knowing look before opening his door and stepping out.

Friends. Billy remembers what it’s like to have friends. He had a lot of friends back in California, the best of friends. Those friends, he _did_  talk about his problems with whenever he felt the urge and if he didn’t, they wouldn’t pry. They’d just nod and pass Billy a blunt so they could forget about their problems like Billy did. Ever since moving to Hawkins, he’s popular, sure, but he can’t really call anybody at this school his friend.

Soon, Billy will move back to California and leave this shitty place behind. But Steve is a diamond in all this shit.

He can be Steve’s friend. Steve can be his friend. That sounds okay.

 

He takes in a deep breath, rolling his shoulders back as he tries to hype himself up. Okay, no more vulnerable Billy, it’s time for good ol’, crazy, hyped up Billy! The Billy everybody at this school now knows him for.

“And **BAM,** you're fucking her right in the pussy!” Billy laughs loudly as he exits his car, a few people turning their heads. “Come back to me anytime you need advice, ay, Harrington?”

Steve rolls his eyes, weakly waving his hand. “Uh huh, sure. See ya, Billy.”

Billy takes a cigarette from his pocket and lights it up, leaning against the door of his car and blowing the smoke out as he stares up into the sky.

 

It’s another shitty day living in the shithole of a town that is Hawkins of shitty Indiana but Steve makes the shitty day decidedly less shit. He’ll make the idea of staying here until he undoubtedly moves back to California less shitty. Billy can try to be patient until then and Steve’s going to be a nice distraction. And a pretty one.

What’s the saying? Ah yes - patience is a virtue.


	6. feed me a line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for taking awhile to write this chapter as well! it's tough being a fic writer for multiple fandoms x_x

 

Billy thought Steve would be incredibly awkward around him after learning Billy is into guys but things stayed the same, even a week later. Actually, he can’t say that either because Steve was talking to him _more_  now. He wasn’t trying to find excuses to talk to Billy but anytime they’d pass each other in the halls, they’d nod their head in a mutual understanding, maybe exchange a few pleasantries before resuming their merry ways.

So things were actually  _better_  between them. It’s weird, but it’s a weird that Billy can accept. The weirdness that Billy doesn’t wanna accept, however, is this creeping need to actually be around Steve more. Yeah, he actually wants to _hang out_  with him. They don’t even have to party or get fucked up, they could just eat pizza and watch a good movie at his house and that’d be fine.

Oh no, Billy’s turning into a boring rich kid! Though that’s better than the life he’s living now but he’s not used to actually wanting to be around somebody for reasons more than just sex. Can you believe it? That there’s more to life than just hazy one night stands?

 

Billy slides on his shoes and checks himself out in the mirror of the school’s locker room, grinning at his appearance. He wasn’t wearing the bandage anymore and his cuts were almost healed over, not noticeable unless you looked real close.

It’s a nice day when they can play basketball in gym because it means Billy can go shirtless and it also means guys sneaking glances at him and trying to deny that they _totally_  wouldn’t wanna fuck Billy if Billy gave them the chance. Not that he would because all the guys here are ugly.

Except one of them, who was making his way towards Billy right now, in shorts that seemed a bit too short and a t-shirt.

 

“So the coach wants us to team up for today.” Steve says, leaning against the wall. “Think you can handle being nice to me for a little bit?”

“What, like it’s hard?”

“There were problems in the past, so I mean…”

“Come on, I can be nice. I can be a team player. I’ll beat everybody’s ass in being a team player.”

Steve chuckles softly and leans back off the wall. “I think that’s contradictory but I get what you’re saying. See you out there.” And then he walks past Billy, patting his ass.

Steve just pat his ass. That was definitely different. Billy pats people on the ass all the time but nobody does it to him, for obvious reasons. But Steve just did and Billy… isn’t sure how to feel about that. He’s confused, yes. On the other hand, he wishes Steve’s hand could’ve done a lot more than pat.

Like, grope him or something, jesus, don’t just pussy out with a measly tap. That’s why they couldn’t work out, Steve doesn’t take charge enough! Even if he is the only person to stand up to Billy against all odds!

 

“Hey, Billy, you ready-”

“Shut the fuck up, Tommy.” Billy tells him as he walks out of the locker room and into the open gym. What the hell is Tommy’s problem? Interrupting Billy while he’s having conflicting thoughts about Steve that Tommy would have no knowledge of! What an asshole!

Billy sees Steve huddled up with other guys discussing a probable game plan but Steve’s head perks up and looks over at him, giving a soft smile. Billy smiles back, staring into those deep, brown eyes he thinks are absolutely gorgeous and the windows to the caring soul that Steve possesses. He really is a good guy, one of the best in this shithole town.

Not that Billy will openly admit it.

Feels like a lifetime of staring into his soulful eyes until Billy feels a (soft) basketball against the side of his head, causing him to stumble over and yell out an obscenity as he holds onto his now pained head.

 

“WHAT THE FUCK.” Billy shouts, looking around for the culprit. “I’d fuckin’ hate to see your toilet with the way you aim, jesus!”

“Billy, man, it was an accident.” Tommy tells him, rushing on over.

Fucking Tommy. He’s the one that fucking hit his head with that stupid basketball. He can’t do anything right. Just a poor excuse for a human being, poorer than Billy is.

“I got half a mind to just-”

“HARGROVE!” The coach calls out, standing his ground with crossed arms and narrowed eyes at the mulleted teen. “Be on your best behavior, kid! He’s your teammate, you two gotta get along! Make nice and move on!”

The people in the gym are looking their way and some are watching with eager faces, a sick sort of glee like they _know_  Billy is just gonna give Tommy a piece of his mind. All but one - Billy’s “knight in shining armor”. He’s looking at Billy pleadingly, sweet eyes begging him not to do anything at all. Although Billy took it upon himself not to fuck up anybody’s shit anymore, he wouldn’t mind punching Tommy in the face because the fucker deserves it but he can’t possibly do it right now.

Not when Steve is watching.

 

Billy takes in a deep breath, instead settling for a glare at this devil being before walking away to the other side of the field.

“Fine, can we least get this show on the road?” Billy asks, getting into position.

He just wants to play some goddamn basketball and trip people already.

* * *

 

 

Turns out, Steve and Billy work surprisingly well with each other if they’re forced to  team up.

Billy was still (literally) sweeping people off their feet and taunting them but Steve wasn’t on the other end for once. But what’s more surprising than the fact they work well together is that Steve sort of _misses_  the way Billy taunts him. Yeah, imagine that! Maybe it’s because unlike most people, Billy is honest with him. He’s a huge fucking dick but he’s never lied to Steve or sugarcoated things once. He tells it like it is, even if it does piss Steve off.

Billy’s taunting was even a motivator for Steve to get better at playing basketball but considering they’re on the same team, that motivator isn’t really there. Instead, he was motivated to be just as good as Billy so they can be seen as equals on their team together.

After beating the other team in a very far lead, they retire to the showers to clean themselves up and just as it always is, Billy and Steve end up at the same showering cell. They were the last two to filter in so of course they go to the cell at the far back of the locker room.

 

“Hey, Harrington, actually did a nice job today.” Billy nods, quickly looking Steve up and down before closing his eyes.

“I’m surprised too.” Steve admits, running his fingers back through his hair to rinse it of the shampoo. “Usually uh. I’m a huge mess.”

“It’s because I’m on your team now.” Billy smirks, turning his back to the shower and allowing the needles to pierce into his skin, the water rushing through his hair.

Steve swallows as he watches the water run along Billy’s body, down the valleys of his muscles, the grooves of his abs, and… his eyes stop there. There’s a difference between observing the rather particular way water works as it touches somebody’s body and checking out another guy naked in a shower.

 

“Yeah. That must be it.” Steve closes his eyes tightly, furiously scratching at his scalp. “All I needed was Billy Hargrove in my life to make me a better person.”

“That’s big of you to realize, man. Lots of people go through their life without realizing they need a nice dose of _me._ I’m a commendable choice.”

After catching Billy at the quarry, Steve realizes that most of what Billy says at school is an act. He probably thinks people would live their lives a lot better without him, thinks he shouldn’t exist at all. But Billy’s still young - everybody does stupid things when they’re young and they certainly shouldn’t hold it over their own heads.

So if Billy wants to put up a cocky facade at school? Steve will let him - just as long as he’s not actively hurting anybody.

 

He and Billy aren’t alone in the cell for long because they hear wet footsteps coming near them, a rather awkward tension heating up these showers even more… oh god, please don’t let it to be him. Please don’t-

“Billy, my man, what’s up?” Tommy asks, getting his hair wet.

_ God. Fucking. Damnit. _

“Trying to get clean.” Billy replies shortly.

“Nice, nice.” Tommy nods and looks over to Steve, smirking. “Hey, Steve-o, good job out there. Looks like Billy finally taught you how to plant your feet - what would you do without him?”

Can Tommy just fuck off to the fiery depths of hell? Where he belongs?

“Fucks sake, why don’t you go soap somebody’s ass and leave us alone?” Billy opens his eyes and manages to splash some of the water needles towards Tommy’s way, the water just barely brushing over his face but they touch it enough that it makes Tommy take a step back.

If Steve wasn’t trying to focus on cleaning himself, he’d do the same thing. What Blly just told him was fucking _rad._ Billy is super cool when he tells off people that isn’t Steve!

 

Tommy just stands there, blinking a few times, looking even more like an asshole he already is. He opens his mouth to finally say something but Billy steals his spotlight.

“GO!” Billy shouts, waving his hand. “Adios, porky!”

Tommy scurries away from the cell, grabbing a random towel from the wall to hide his shame, mentally and physically.

_ Good riddance. _

Steve shakes his head, whistling low. “Geez, how do you still put up with him?”

“It’s nice to have a cheerleader.” Billy shrugs. “And he buys me shit sometimes.”

“Maybe he has a crush on you.”

“Maybe you should forget you even said that, out loud, to me, to my own face.”

“Fair enough. I wouldn’t wanna think about that either.”

For a brief moment, Steve tries to entertain the thought of being with Tommy in such a way but a few seconds in and he feels the need to gag so he stops. Not the thought of being with a man, but being with Tommy.

There is one man Steve wouldn’t mind getting it on with, only if he were the one to initiate things. Even then, it’s just a “why not?” sort of deal and not a “oh god, yes, I need him right now” sort of deal.

 

“So how did you ever put up with him?” Billy asks, flipping his hair back.

“Well, I was a different person back then.” Steve tells him as he begins to rub the body wash over his chest. “Had different standards for what was tolerable. And then I wised up, raised my standards, and was able to kick him to the curb.”

“Didn’t he kinda kick you to the curb first?”

“Yeah, but I kinda goaded him into it.”

Billy nods, bringing his hand up to run back through his hair. As he does so, Steve looks at his arm to notice the cuts. The cuts, once bright red and fresh, were faded and closing up. There doesn’t seem to be any new ones either which means Billy actually did what Steve said and didn’t cut himself.

Whether he did it because of Steve or just because he didn’t felt the need to, Steve is proud.

 

Steve nods at Billy’s arm, looking over to Billy. “How are the cuts? You doing any better?”

Billy looks around, making sure there was nobody else close by before he shrugs and looks back to Steve. “I haven’t felt an urge to lately if that’s what you mean.”

“So you’ve been doing fine then?”

“Just because the shit doesn’t smell as bad doesn’t mean it isn’t still shit.”

This is a good time for Steve to stop prying. One day, he’ll find out why exactly Billy does it beyond the vague description he gave Steve but that day isn’t now. Quite frankly, it isn’t his business anyways but he just needs to know why Billy Hargrove is the way he is. There’s a good person in there deep down. Steve is sure of it. And he wants to do what he can to bring it back out of him.

 

A few minutes pass and Billy turns off his shower, taking the towel to dry his hair. “Got any plans tonight… Steve?”

_ Steve. _

Steve likes it when Billy says his actual first name.

“Oh uh, yeah.” Steve nods. “Gonna play Dungeons and Dragons with the kids.”

Billy lowers the towel, giving Steve an incredulous look and a small grin. “Uh, no. No you’re not.”

“I’m not?”

“You’re gonna party with me instead.”

“I um, no, nah.” Steve shakes his head. “Parties aren’t my thing anymore.”

Not since Nancy broke up with him at the last party he went to. After that, the allure was sort of ruined for him. That’s why Steve’s so content with being alone, or taking it easy by playing some good tabletop games with good natured kids.

 

“Yeah they are, you just gotta enjoy one with me.” Billy tells him, stepping closer.

“Oh, uh, yeah, seriously, I’m okay.” Steve chuckles nervously as he notices that the naked Billy is getting closer. “Besides, me and the kids have sort of been planning this. B-But I might come, if it ends early.”

“Is that a promise?”

“... it’s a maybe?”

Billy shrugs. “Good enough for me. I’ll see ya there.”

“Maybe!” Steve reminds him.

Billy waves him off, turning around. “It’ll be nice to see ya.”

“Billy!”

“See you tonight, Steve!”

And then he walks away from the cell, continuing to dry his hair.

 

All the while, Steve has a few dilemmas on his hands. On one hand, there’s the dilemma of the party tonight because now Billy is expecting to see him there… or maybe he isn’t and he was just fucking with Steve because that’s something Billy would do. Push Steve’s buttons. Except now when he does it, it’s not really a bad thing.

And on the other hand, Steve just noticed how _fine_  Billy’s ass is and how it seems to bounce with each step he takes.

Steve instantly turns the shower setting to the cold side.

* * *

 

 

“My brother’s been really weird lately.” Max says, drinking her juice box.

“He’s _always_  weird.” Dustin points out.

“No, he’s been super weird.” Lucas concurs with Max.

“What do you mean? He’s been real nice.” Steve jumps in, sipping his juice box as well.

It hasn’t just been Steve either. Billy’s been a bit nicer to everybody (excluding Tommy). He’s still teasing people, maybe causing them to drop their books, but he hasn’t been as big of a dick as he used to be. Perhaps it’s weird but Steve’s not going to complain about it. Why ruin a good thing?

 

“That’s the point.” Max tells him. “He’s been _nice._ I mean, he’s still an asshole but lately he’s been… sort of _sweet.”_

“I don’t mind it.” Dustin shrugs, moving his dwarf. “I prefer him nice as opposed to beating Steve up. No offense, Steve.”

Why do people need to constantly remind Steve that he’s a shit fighter? He already knows!

Steve holds up a hand, watching Dustin’s character. “Non taken. But I dunno, I don’t think it’s weird that he’s been nice. Maybe he’s been that way deep down.”

Max scoffs, rolling her eyes. “I don’t think so. He’s been mean ever since our parents got together, and worse since we moved here.”

“He seems like he’s going through a lot.” Steve says. “That could really affect somebody and how they treat people. And it takes a lot to push past that.”

Max rolls her lips back, looking down at the board. “Yeah, he is.” She admits softly.

Max knows Billy better than Steve does. Maybe Steve should ask her what’s going on  with her older brother… and hope Billy doesn’t find out that he asked.

 

“I think almost being castrated would make me a nicer person.” Mike comments, scrawling something down on his notepad.  “But Billy still sucks.”

“Agreed.” Max nods.

“I second that.” Dustin pipes in.

“Third it.” Lucas chimes.

“I don’t know who Billy is but…” Will sheepishly raises a hand. “Fourth it.”

“You guys can’t judge somebody like that!” Steve exclaims. “I used to be a huge dick too but I came around, didn’t I?”

“You didn’t beat somebody up for no reason and terrorize your step sister.” Lucas points out, giving Steve a pointed look.

“I don’t have a step sister.” Steve tells him.

“You’re missing the point, bro.” Dustin shakes his head.

“Alright guys, I think it’s time for everybody to head back home!” Karen announces down the stairs. “Sorry, me and Ted are heading to bed early tonight!”

The kids groan in annoyance, rolling their eyes and standing up.

 

“Great, I told my mom to pick me up an hour from now.” Lucas sighs.

“Guys, I have a car.” Steve points to himself. “Just ride in the Harrington mobile. There’s room for all of you.”

Plus, it’s an opportunity to talk to Max about Billy. Steve will drop everybody else off and then he’ll start interrogating her! But not aggressively. In like, the real nice way and maybe offer to buy her ice cream somewhere if Max tells Steve what he’s looking for.

And not in a creepy way despite the description.

 

“Can you get us McDonald’s, Steve?” Dustin asks, looking at Steve hopefully.

“Sure, gimme the money for it.”

Dustin purses his lips, looking down at his empty hands before shaking his head. “Uh, actually, nevermind.”

Steve grins and rolls his eyes, patting Dustin’s shoulder. “Next time I will. Promise. Now c’mon everybody, let’s take you all home. Make sure you guys have everything together.”

 

Steve stays downstairs, watching as everybody throws their coats on and puts their things away in their bags. There’s more focus put on Max, however, and Steve really hopes Max doesn’t notice him staring because he seriously isn’t trying to come off like a creep but he just really wants to figure out Billy. His family knows him the most of all so logically, Max is a perfect link to him.

Will Max be able to help Steve with his Billy problem after all? Or will he be sent back to square one?


End file.
